For Crying Out Loud, Please Options

[OllieBaby]

Ollie died in my arms May 5th. For crying out loud, when is this going to get easier? I can't shake the depression or the sadness. I miss him so much I'm still crying every day. I don't have any family left and I'm driving myself crazy looking for signs from him. I have never felt so much pain before and I'm sick with grief. He is the best part of me. He slept curled up next to me every night for 17 years. He loved me. God, please help me.

[OllieBaby]

Thanks to the both of you for your compassion and understanding. Ollie and I spend so much time together, every day. I wrapped my days around being with him, hours at a time. Just have never known pain like this. This, feeling of being lost and confused and maybe even still in shock. I mean, I knew he was getting older and that he had some health issues. So I don’t know why the shocky feeling is here. Guess I just never thought about life without him, he’s always been here and it sucks wide and loud to be without him. But I believe this wasn't our first lifetime together.

There’s a great song by Melissa Etheridge that really fits. Could only find it on youtube with a Xena and Gabrielle thing though:
http://youtu.be/ha824Z6NSpI



MELISSA ETHERIDGE
"I've Loved You Before"
When I think of how you know me
No doubts, no thinkin' twice
When your smile can be so soothing
A familiar paradise
When there's no one else that makes me whole
I am never needing more
I get this feeling
That I have loved you before


Were we lovers in an army
Marching off for Rome
Side by side in battle
Did we bravely leave our home
Did I hold you in my arms
As you were taking your last breath
Did I shout to all the gods
That I would love you beyond death
Or more
I swear I've loved you before


Did we hide in the Dark Ages
From a vengeful God above
Were our names too unfamiliar
To ever speak of love
Did I cling to every moment with you
Every parting glance
An accidental touch
Did we ever take the chance
For more
I know I've loved you before


Have I wandered through the desert
Have I looked to the North Star
Have I rode the days and nights on rails
Just To get back where you are
And every time I found you
It's your eyes I know for sure


When I think of how you know me
No doubts, no thinkin' twice
When your smile can be so soothing
A familiar paradise
When there's no one else that makes me whole
I am never wanting more
I get this feeling
I know I've loved you before
I know I've loved you before
I've loved you before