It's Been Almost 1 Year And I Miss Him So Much, Still.., My sweet Nickee passed June 20, 2013 Options

[SilNickCal]

Hello everyone, It will soon be 1 year since I lost my Nickee kitty and we had been together for 18 years. I lost my 17 y/o, Callie, April 15th and feel like I have lost my family. Nickee and I had a special bond. He was my best friend. He was always there for me and now he isn't and it still hurts so badly. He trusted me. It was so beautiful to have him here. I, fortunately, still have Silver kitty, but am concerned about him because of my depression over my losses.....I am doing my best, but pray that Silver doesn't suffer because of my suffering. The loss of Callie was and still is heart-wrenching also. I just can't believe that I have to make a new life without them and it kills me and I live in fear. When I looked at their faces, I felt HOME.....that is gone and I am trying to recreate it with Silver, but he's just not the same. Silver found me 2 years ago; Thank God....I don't know what I would do without him. Though, I am concerned about his health. He is a long-haired beauty and whenever he comes in from outside he has to go downstairs to cool down. I think he is part ragdoll. I am afraid he may have heart issues and plan on taking him to the vet Monday to get him checked out. I love him, no doubt, but he is just not Nickee or Callie and I feel guilty because the feelings are not the same. I hope I am making sense and telling my story properly....I just feel so lost without my long-term family. Please don't get me wrong. I love Silver too...it's just so new....not the ole familiar I had with Nick and Callie. I am temporarily living with my sister who doesn't 'get it' and who basically ignores her own cats, who are coming to me for love and attention and I am afraid to get attached because i pray i can move out around September....They also still hiss and swipe at Silver (the poor kid)....I hate that my sister doesn't reprimand or try to teach them to treat Silver better. It's all a mess. I miss my babies so much! And I need to love Silver like I loved Nickee and Callie..... Besides all that, living with my sister is pure hell. She basically ignores me and doesn't notice Silver's affliction......I don't like to leave him alone with her for very long. I can't wait to move so that Silver and I can connect more and so that I can get him a pal.....he misses Nickee and Callie too. Sooooo sad. Just so sad. Thanks for listening. Kay

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[moon_beam]

Hi, SilNickCal, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical losses of your beloved Callie and Nickee. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Losing two companions in a short period of time intensifies the grief.

SNC, this grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month - - or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time, because you are on a journey that is filled with all the first withouts and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year to endure.

Although clinical professionals recognize that the grief journey for the physical loss of a beloved companion is the same as for a human family member or friend, sadly our society in general, and sometimes the people who are closest to us emotionally and geographically, do not. This is one of the many reasons why this wonderful forum is here as a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts with others who truly DO understand what we are going through. Please know we are here for you, SNC, for as long and as often as you need us.

Even though your beloved Callie and Nickee are no longer physically with you, there is one thing that will never change - - the love bond you and your beloved Callie and Nickee share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Your beloved Callie's and Nickee's sweet Living Spirits continue to share your earthly journey as they always have and always will - - for they are always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - they are always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I am so sorry your sister is not offering you any comfort during this time of great sorrow for you. I support you in your efforts to find a place where you and your precious Silver can live in peace so that you can truly begin to form a "new family" for you and your precious Silver.

SNC, I do know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the searing pain of sorrow. Still I hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so very much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Callie and Nickee with us, SNC, and the wonderful pictures. Please know you and your precious Silver are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam