Not Sure It's Worth It Options

[TOS]

The thought that my mind keeps circling around is that everything worthwhile is now gone so what’s the point. She's gone and this is never going to not be.

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[TOS]

Thank you, Rockyboy, Lynette, and moon_beam. I do appreciate your thoughts and sympathy. And yes, she was part german shepherd, Rockyboy - I think she's beautiful too. (But she was a homely puppy, honest.)

Numa died Friday, May 30th. She was 15 years old and my constant companion.

Since then, I've been collecting all the photographs and videos I have of her, and writing down memories.

Numa had a full, long, loving, and happy life – short of immortality for her, I couldn't ask for anything more. I wish that made it easier to lose her. I guess this is as easy as it gets. And it's more than I can stand.

I can tell that your losses are as painful to you as this one is to me, and it's so generous of you all to comfort and worry about others. It reminds me of that bumper sticker, "My goal in life is to be the person my dog thinks I am." I hope someday I can care about being a good person, or care about anything really. I just can't right now. I read through all of the painful stories here and cry for them and cry for me.

Thank you again.