Finally A Dream Options

[jaspersmom]

Last night I was in a kind of twilight sleep, you know when you are half awake but slowly drifting off, and all of a sudden I heard a very familiar meow, the same beautiful sound I had heard when my Jasper had been lost for three long days and had somehow found his way back home to me. Well I started walking down a pathway, this place was quite scenic, a wooded area with huge shade trees all around, with the sun glinting and sparkling off of the branches of the trees, and the sky was a bright and brilliant blue, a color I could not even begin to replicate here, and I just knew that something very special was about to happen. I began calling out his name, Jasper, Jasper, Jasper over and over again, and then I noticed there were three cats along this pathway, and although they all looked very similar to him, as I got closer, I could tell that they were not my boy, and when they saw me, they jumped up and scurried off into the woods.

I kept walking and walking and calling out his name, and my heart started beating faster and faster, as I could feel him so very close to me. I reached the end of the path and noticed lovely white sparkles of light, and oh my gosh, there he was, there was my Jasper! He was not sick or hurting anymore, he was his wonderful and vibrant self once again. Our eyes met, and I could tell that he knew that his mommy had finally found him. If kitties could smile, he did, with that unspoken communication between us, he didn't need to say anything, I could see the spark of joy in his eyes. I started walking faster and faster, and I was so close to him that I could almost reach out and touch him, oh how I wanted to feel that soft fur again, how I wanted to have that dear little paw of his reach out to me again, how I wanted to breathe in his scent one more time, and most of all how I wanted to pick him up and hold him in my arms once again. All this time, our eyes were locked together, he didn't take his gaze off of me, and I was not letting him out of my sight, those beautiful emerald green eyes of his, those eyes I have so missed were looking right at me, right into my very soul, as I reached out my hand to touch him ... and then I woke up.

I have been waiting and hoping for this for so very long, and I am so grateful at this wonderful gift I have been given. He looked so good, he looked so happy, it was as though he could have been right back home with me, sitting on his favorite windowsill again, he just had that same peaceful and contented look about him. It was so real, it was him, he was there, the love and connection that we both shared was so very strong, no mere stopping of his sweet little heartbeat could ever keep us apart. I have always believed that dreams can be the window to our soul, and I have cried so many tears, and I have hurt so badly for so very long, and it just feels so good to feel this little bit of happiness in my heart again, because I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that last night, our love transcended this physical realm, and we found each other once again. When someone you love so very much has been taken from you so suddenly and so tragically, when you have had no time to tell them how very much they mean to you, when you have had no time to say goodbye, it is not only a blessing to have that one more precious moment with them, it is a miracle beyond words.

[moon_beam]

Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am very happy to share your news that your heart is feeeling more at peace now since your and your beloved Jasper's visit in your dream. I wouldn't call it so much a dream as more a "vision" - - for it was a very real experience for both you and your beloved Jasper.

I know Mother's Day will be one of mixed emotions for you, for it is now among one of the many "first withouts" you are experiencing in your grief adjustment journey. I hope planning a special tribute to your beloved Jasper on this day will bring you added comfort, and joy, in knowing that your beloved Jasper is eternally blessed to have for his Forever Mom - - and celebrate your joy in knowing that he is your Forever Jasper.

I hope today is treating you kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[jaspersmom]

[quote name='moon_beam' date='Apr 24 2014, 02:06 PM' post='81686']
Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so very much for sharing with us how you're doing. I am very happy to share your news that your heart is feeeling more at peace now since your and your beloved Jasper's visit in your dream. I wouldn't call it so much a dream as more a "vision" - - for it was a very real experience for both you and your beloved Jasper.

I know Mother's Day will be one of mixed emotions for you, for it is now among one of the many "first withouts" you are experiencing in your grief adjustment journey. I hope planning a special tribute to your beloved Jasper on this day will bring you added comfort, and joy, in knowing that your beloved Jasper is eternally blessed to have for his Forever Mom - - and celebrate your joy in knowing that he is your Forever Jasper.

I hope today is treating you kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam
[/quote

Hi moon_beam,
Thank you so very much for your kind and wonderful reply. You are so right that this was more of a vision than a dream, and yes it was so very real for both myself and my Jasper, and it meant the world to me. Your beautiful and understanding words have never failed to bring me such comfort and peace, and I truly don't know how I would have made it through those first weeks and this continuing journey I have been on, without this forum and all of the support and caring I have found here, and it has truly been my refuge and my light throughout the storm.

It is true that Mother's Day will be one of mixed emotions for me, and it will certainly be a very big first without, but then again, I suppose all of them are going to be bittersweet, with the lovely memories we have of our dear companions to warm our hearts, but then also feeling the emptiness of not being able to reach out and hold them in our arms once again. I finally do understand now that although my Jasper is in that new perfect world, he is still right here with me in so many ways, and in all the ways that really matter. I found some pictures of him when he was a little kitten, oh my goodness he was such a cute little guy, and looking at them just warmed my heart and I actually smiled, and Jingles came over and lay beside me as if he knew .. it was a very special moment.

Oh how wonderful to read your words "I hope planning a special tribute to your beloved Jasper on this day will bring you added comfort and joy, in knowing that your beloved Jasper is eternally blessed to have his Forever Mom -- and celebrate your joy in knowing he is your Forever Jasper". Those words were so very beautiful and really touched my heart, and yes that is just how I shall always think of my sweet boy, I am his mom forever and he is my Jasper forever. Your posts are filled with such compassion and understanding moon_beam, and I can't thank you enough for helping me to get where I am today, still hurting and still missing him, but so very far from where I was three months ago, my heart is slowly beginning to heal, a little bit at a time.