Overwhelmed With Sadness Options

[MissYouSheba]

Hi everyone

I lost my special friend Sheba on Wednesday. She was 11 years old and given to me as a kitten. She has been with me through university, my first job, boyfriends, breakups, my marriage, my first born child. She was there for all those big milestones and I am devastated that she is gone.

A few weeks ago she started getting diarrhoea and slowly started going off her food. We took her to the vet and were told she had liver inflammation and she was admitted for a few days and came home. My husband and I were nursing her at home and she seemed better for the first few days then started getting very weak and could barely walk. We took her to the vet again where they found an abdominal mass and we consented for her to have a laparotomy to see if it was an operable mass.

She had the operation on Wednesday and I got the dreaded call while I was at work. They found a large tumour coming from her intestine which was blocking her gall bladder and were unfortunately unable to do anything. She was put to sleep on the table

We buried her yesterday in my in laws garden in her favourite blanket and planted some geraniums on her grave. I am crippled with grief and am very tearful. I threw her littler box away this morning and was bawling like a baby.

I just miss her so much

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[moon_beam]

Hi, MissMySheba, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, the silence of the physical absence of your beloved Sheba is deafening - - it's almost as if the house structure itself is mourning the loss of her energy.

This grief journey is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride, and during the very deep grief it can feel like there is no end to the furious ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. During the deep grief we are extremely emotionally vulnerable having little to no control over our emotions and when, and how, and how easily they are just boiling at the surface ready to burst through the fragile dam of what little control we do have.

Some people think that if they suppress their grief it will make the sorrow less painful. Clinical professionals now recognize that suppressed grief is not healthy for suppressing the grief puts more stress on the body which eventually may need to be dealt with through medical intervention. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for the tears literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up due to the stress of grief. So, go ahead and cry, MissMySheba - - it is one of the healthy ways of grieving. And I promise you that one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Sheba and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill once again with the warmth of your eternal love. Does this mean you will no longer miss your beloved Sheba? Absolutely Not - - for even 20 years down the road you and your beloved Sheba may be sharing a memory and you may feel a mist come to your eyes and an ache to your heart wanting to hold her and feel her close to you. The GOOD NEWS is that you will still be able to smile and the brief moment of sorrow will not be as intense as your sorrow is now.

I hope today is treating you kindly, MissMySheba, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sheba's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts ad prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[MissYouSheba]

Hi, MissMySheba, thank you for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, the silence of the physical absence of your beloved Sheba is deafening - - it's almost as if the house structure itself is mourning the loss of her energy.

This grief journey is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride, and during the very deep grief it can feel like there is no end to the furious ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. During the deep grief we are extremely emotionally vulnerable having little to no control over our emotions and when, and how, and how easily they are just boiling at the surface ready to burst through the fragile dam of what little control we do have.

Some people think that if they suppress their grief it will make the sorrow less painful. Clinical professionals now recognize that suppressed grief is not healthy for suppressing the grief puts more stress on the body which eventually may need to be dealt with through medical intervention. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for the tears literally cleanse our bodies from the toxins that build up due to the stress of grief. So, go ahead and cry, MissMySheba - - it is one of the healthy ways of grieving. And I promise you that one day when you least expect it you will find yourself thinking of your beloved Sheba and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and your heart will fill once again with the warmth of your eternal love. Does this mean you will no longer miss your beloved Sheba? Absolutely Not - - for even 20 years down the road you and your beloved Sheba may be sharing a memory and you may feel a mist come to your eyes and an ache to your heart wanting to hold her and feel her close to you. The GOOD NEWS is that you will still be able to smile and the brief moment of sorrow will not be as intense as your sorrow is now.

I hope today is treating you kindly, MissMySheba, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Sheba's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts ad prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you moon_beam. I feel emotionally exhausted. I'm struggling with feelings of guilt. When my son was born, I didn't spend much time with her as I used to. It was only when I realised how ill she was that I realise how much I loved her. Before she was admitted to the vet to get ready for the operation, I slept on a mattress in the living room with her next to me on a sheepskin rug for a few nights (she was barely able to walk by then) I told her how much I loved her and how sorry I was for neglecting her.

Today we found a few packs of her food around and had to throw them away. It was another trigger for a flood of tears The reality that she is not coming home is slowly starting to sink in. I miss her so much