So Small, So Sweet, So Soon Options

[jaspersmom]

I can't believe that it has been only 11 days since I said goodbye to my beloved cat Jasper, it feels like so much longer, the days and nights go by so slowly without him here. I feel as though I am just going through the motions, putting one foot in front of the other, and it really does seem sometimes as though all of the color has gone out of my world. Yesterday it snowed, and I remember how he used to love to sit on the windowsill and watch the flakes fall, many times he would reach out his little paw and rest it on my arm, just to be connected to me, oh how I miss that. I still can't believe that he is not here, taken from me at such a young age. I just keep thinking about how young and healthy he was, how there was no time to prepare, how there was no time to say goodbye. It is just so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he is no longer here with me in this physical realm, and the suddeness of it all is still so hard to deal with it. I have read about the stages of grief and I seem to go from one to the other in such random order, not sure which one I am in now, but it doesn't really matter, all I know is that it hurts, but I have learned from moon_beam's insightful words that our grief is very individual and can never be clinically categorized, it is such a personal journey, and there are no limits of time or depth of feeling to this journey. There have been times lately when I have thought of my sweet Jasper, and intermixed with the sadness and tears is a bit of a smile, so maybe the healing of my heart is beginning, I sure hope so. I know he would not want to see me so sad and I do want to one day be able to embrace the joy and love he gave me and still gives me, but I know this is going to take some time. I so miss awakening to those sweet little meows in the morning and that dear little paw on my shoulder, I don't like this new normal, it will never be normal without him.

[moon_beam]

Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Indeed, this grief adjustment journey has many ups and downs, twists and turns and turnarounds. Just when we think we are through the "perfect storm" of grief, something - - a memory, a song, finding a lost toy, etc. - - can bring us to our knees once again with our hearts aching with deep sorrow. The good news is that as our deep grief eases - - as it does eventually - - the moments of piercing sorrow lessen with intensity so that we can quickly refocus our thoughts to the many treasured memories we share with our beloved companions.

But until this time comes for you, jaspersmom, please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step you take to share the not so bad days, the not so good days, and the days when it feels like your heart is breaking under the unbearable burden of your sorrow.

I can understand your feelings about the difficulty of returning to the veterinary practice that provided care for your beloved Jasper. I remember all too well how difficult it was to take my surviving companions back to their primary care provider after one of their housemates had joined the angels. It took several visits before I could get through them without tears welling up in my eyes, struggling to make it through the appointment, and then letting go of the heartbreak with gut wrenching sobbing on the drive home. What helped me is knowing that I had a veterinary care provider that I trusted - - who had seen my beloved companion, and me, through the darkest of times, and who stayed by our side. Because of your love and devotion to provide the very best care possible for your precious Jingles, there is no doubt that whatever you decide for your precious Jingles' will be the RIGHT ONE for you.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Jingles kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Jingles are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam