So Small, So Sweet, So Soon Options

[jaspersmom]

I can't believe that it has been only 11 days since I said goodbye to my beloved cat Jasper, it feels like so much longer, the days and nights go by so slowly without him here. I feel as though I am just going through the motions, putting one foot in front of the other, and it really does seem sometimes as though all of the color has gone out of my world. Yesterday it snowed, and I remember how he used to love to sit on the windowsill and watch the flakes fall, many times he would reach out his little paw and rest it on my arm, just to be connected to me, oh how I miss that. I still can't believe that he is not here, taken from me at such a young age. I just keep thinking about how young and healthy he was, how there was no time to prepare, how there was no time to say goodbye. It is just so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he is no longer here with me in this physical realm, and the suddeness of it all is still so hard to deal with it. I have read about the stages of grief and I seem to go from one to the other in such random order, not sure which one I am in now, but it doesn't really matter, all I know is that it hurts, but I have learned from moon_beam's insightful words that our grief is very individual and can never be clinically categorized, it is such a personal journey, and there are no limits of time or depth of feeling to this journey. There have been times lately when I have thought of my sweet Jasper, and intermixed with the sadness and tears is a bit of a smile, so maybe the healing of my heart is beginning, I sure hope so. I know he would not want to see me so sad and I do want to one day be able to embrace the joy and love he gave me and still gives me, but I know this is going to take some time. I so miss awakening to those sweet little meows in the morning and that dear little paw on my shoulder, I don't like this new normal, it will never be normal without him.

[moon_beam]

Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Particularly during the deep grief our minutes, days, weeks, months are measured by our thoughts "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" when our beloved companion was physically with us. It is a very difficult, and painful, transition to make in our relationship with them when they precede us to the angels, for we still exist in the physical world where our focus is governed by our physical senses - - and our physical senses are yearning to see, touch, smell, and hear our beloved companions just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime. Our earthly journey with our beloved companions is never long enough, and our sorrow is added to when our companion's earthly journey is shorter in years than what we expected. I know your deepest sorrow about losing your beloved Jasper at a young and tender age of 7 years. Two of my beloved feline companions joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage cancers - - one with Lymphoma (December 2006) and one with Fibrosarcoma (March 2010).

Like your precious Jingles, my precious Noah grieved deeply for his housemates, too. Because of my age my precious Noah, who will be 11 years old in 3 months, will be my last companion.

I hope today is treating you kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Jingles are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[jaspersmom]

Hi, jaspersmom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. Particularly during the deep grief our minutes, days, weeks, months are measured by our thoughts "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" when our beloved companion was physically with us. It is a very difficult, and painful, transition to make in our relationship with them when they precede us to the angels, for we still exist in the physical world where our focus is governed by our physical senses - - and our physical senses are yearning to see, touch, smell, and hear our beloved companions just one more minute, one more hour, one more day - - one more lifetime. Our earthly journey with our beloved companions is never long enough, and our sorrow is added to when our companion's earthly journey is shorter in years than what we expected. I know your deepest sorrow about losing your beloved Jasper at a young and tender age of 7 years. Two of my beloved feline companions joined the angels at 6 years of age due to end stage cancers - - one with Lymphoma (December 2006) and one with Fibrosarcoma (March 2010).

Like your precious Jingles, my precious Noah grieved deeply for his housemates, too. Because of my age my precious Noah, who will be 11 years old in 3 months, will be my last companion.

I hope today is treating you kindly, jaspersmom, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Jasper's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your precious Jingles are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

Thank you so much moon_beam for your kind and compassionate words. You are so right about our thoughts during deep grief are often measured by this time last week, this time last year, and how wonderful it would be for just one more day, just one more moment with our precious friends. That must have been so hard for you to lose two of your beloved feline companions at the young age of 6, and within just a few years of each other, and I am so very sorry for your loss, and I know you understand fully how I feel about losing out on so many years with my sweet companion. I do worry about Jingles and am trying my best to just be here for him with love and care to ease his confusion, but he is lonely and grieving. I can imagine how difficult it must have been for your precious Noah when he lost his housemates within just a few years of each other. Then I also read posts about someone losing their beloved pet at one or two years of age, and I have to stop and think how fortunate I am to have had Jasper with me for this long, and to have known him at all, and to have had him light up my world with his sweet and unconditional love. My friends and family were quite caring and supportive at first, but now it seems that when I want to talk about my Jasper, they try to change my train of thought to a different topic, perhaps they just don't know what to say anymore, or perhaps they just can't understand my sadness. I am so thankful that I found the LS forum, it has been such a lifesaver for me during this time. When I first was looking for pet loss support help, the words lightning strike really spoke to me, because that is exactly how I felt, as though a bolt of lightning had just struck, and I felt stunned and totally unable to process what had happened. Reading the different posts and knowing I am not alone in this grief journey has helped me so very much, and the kind and heartfelt words from you who has traveled this road, and from all those who are now trying to get through each day as I am is making such a difference. I know from reading your posts moon_beam, that although I may not be able to see or touch my Jasper, that he is right here with me and always will be, and that has helped me more than words can say. Thank you for your kindness and encouragement and for this wonderful forum that is helping me to know that this storm can't last forever, there is a little light at the end of this tunnel, I just have to find it.