I Miss My Best Friend Options

[Derrick]

I lost the best friend I've ever known just 3 days ago. My cat Versache. His death was very unexpected and traumatic for him, me and my partner. After many tears, processing of info from the dr. and exploring every viable option, we had to choose to put him to sleep. I'm at peace with the decision to end his suffering, but that doesn't make it easier to live with. I've never felt a loss or pain like this ever before and am just lost, alone and can't express the hurt. I simply want him back and wish my hurt would end. He gave me joy, love and so much comfort. Followed me endlessly and rarely gave me a moment's peace as he wanted to be by my side all of the time. I enjoyed his unconditional love for 14 years. He made me feel special as I saw us both as outcasts in one way or another...like a team. Had I not felt as though he loved me every bit as much as I love him, this wouldn't be so hard. Its only been 3 days, so I know my future holds more sorrow and "firsts" without him.

I just confirmed his final arrangements. Thinking of him out there, without me with him, just cuts so deep.

This post makes a step on the path to grieving in a healthy way. And makes it all real, while I still feel like I'm in a dream.

I know there are no words that can return my buddy to me. Nor words that can end my sorrow and feeling of immense loss. But any wisdom anyone can provide as to how I can best begin healing would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Derrick

[Gretta's Mom]

Oh Derrick

I am so happy that my clumsy words gave you so much peace. I don't know how I would survive if I thought that Gretta and Rufus had just "disappeared" from the universe when they left this world. Right after Gretta went home, the grief counselor at the Univerity of Minnesota said something to me that opened my mind. She said, "Animals choose their times to come and their times to go." Which let me know that before Gretta had appeared on this earth, she WAS, she was somewhere, she was alive, even though she probably was a spirit. And if that were true, then when she left thiis earth, she must be still living - somewhere somehow. Then Lovely Moonbeam, who is the mother of all of us here on Lightning Strike, one of the most knowing and caring persons in this world, explained to me as she has to so many others, about human beings living in a world of senses and when we can no longer sense something, we say it doesn't exist. That comforted me SO much. I grew up in a religion that believed in life after death and in heaven (and hell, of course). If people could live on after they left this earth, why couldn't our beloved animals? I have also studied and lived for a long time with a group of people from Southeast Asia whose belief about death is that the spirit remains as a functioning member of the family. They invite the person to celebrations and set out meals for them on special occasions. SO suddenly it dawned on me ....... Gretta's spirit was alive, SHE was alive, in spirit form.

Your finding pennies with heads up is DEFINITELY a signal. After my mother passed in 2003, I kept finding beautiful feathers. It took me a while to realize that these were being sent by my mother, most of the time telling me I was doing something right. One time I even found a two-foot long tail feather from a pheasant on one of the busiest streets in the metro area where I live. Pennies are your signal from Versache. Many people don't get any signals from their spirit animals. You are one of the VERY blessed ones. Here's a prediction from me: you will find these pennies for many, many years, maybe your whole life.

Part of my ancestry is Native American, who have a belief in spirit animals -- like the White Buffalo. Somehow I came to believe that once in a while, an animal and a person could share a single soul. (Soul-mates). I believe Gretta and I shared a soul and that Rufus and I also shared a soul - though a different one. People who met Gretta on our walks used to say she looked so kind. And I think this is the lesson she came to teach me, since I'm outwardly pretty gruff or cynical. Rufus was another lesson. He is a BIG dog - half black lab- half Newfie - 100+ pounds. And, besides my father and my ex-husband, he was the first male in my life. He taught me about strength, courage, standing firm, doing what has to be done.

Versache searched the universe over to find you - his soulmate. Then, as if that weren't amazing enough, he put himself in your path so you would find him. And you were the only one she showed affection for when he was on the earth. He IS your soulmate. And what a soulmate he is - sending you a bright, new, shiny penny on one of the first days after he went home - to tell you he was OK, more than OK, he is SHINING up there in the Perfect World. And you can talk to him, write to him, think of him any time you want to and he hears you. I often write to Rufus and Gretta here on LS. I call on them in times of trouble and they give me spiritual strength. Sometimes a group of us here on LS organize what we call "prayer-hums" - one of us will be in some very bad or dangerous situation so the others will ask their soul-mates in the Perfect World to get together at a certain time and, since they don't speak English, just HUM in prayer.

This post is WAY too long - but I wanted to share some things with you about the beliefs that comfort me. But there are the DAYS you talk about. I post a lot here, usually in the very early morning. And every time I talk to Gretta or Rufus or someone whose furbaby has just gone to the Perfect World - I CRY! But I know that Gretta and Rufus and now Versache are alive and well and that one day we will all meet again in the Perfect World, never to be separated again.

Listen carefully - you'll be able to hear just the faintest purr and guess who that will be? Mr V!

In fellowship,

Gretta and Rufus's mom