I Miss My Best Friend Options

[Derrick]

I lost the best friend I've ever known just 3 days ago. My cat Versache. His death was very unexpected and traumatic for him, me and my partner. After many tears, processing of info from the dr. and exploring every viable option, we had to choose to put him to sleep. I'm at peace with the decision to end his suffering, but that doesn't make it easier to live with. I've never felt a loss or pain like this ever before and am just lost, alone and can't express the hurt. I simply want him back and wish my hurt would end. He gave me joy, love and so much comfort. Followed me endlessly and rarely gave me a moment's peace as he wanted to be by my side all of the time. I enjoyed his unconditional love for 14 years. He made me feel special as I saw us both as outcasts in one way or another...like a team. Had I not felt as though he loved me every bit as much as I love him, this wouldn't be so hard. Its only been 3 days, so I know my future holds more sorrow and "firsts" without him.

I just confirmed his final arrangements. Thinking of him out there, without me with him, just cuts so deep.

This post makes a step on the path to grieving in a healthy way. And makes it all real, while I still feel like I'm in a dream.

I know there are no words that can return my buddy to me. Nor words that can end my sorrow and feeling of immense loss. But any wisdom anyone can provide as to how I can best begin healing would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Derrick

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Derrick,

My heart is weeping with you in the passing of your best friend and soul mate Versache. (What a great name!) It's terrible loss after so many years together. There are no words to express the pain and grief you are going through. You're in the "shock and awe" time. Your body is protecting itself against the unbelievably overpowering emotion by making it's brain into a "robot." We reduce our lives to the absolute essential activities and even those we do like ... well ... a robot.

We suffer in proportion as we love - and every tear you shed and every time you call Mr. Versache's name is just your love coming out. I have rescued two elder Labs - Gretta abd Rufus - who have both gone home. Be comforted by knowing the Beautiful Versache is NOT gone. There is a place - some poeple call it heaven but I call it the Perfect World. Animals come from there, search the world over to find the one and only person who shares their soul (I think that's why people use the word "soulmate" - because it's true). As if that weren't enough, our soulmate puts him- or herself in our path and when we recognize our "other half" the instant rush of love tells both of us that we have found each other. We humans are not stupid (well......). We know that animals' lives are shorter than ours and that by accepting our soulmate and sharing their unbelievable love, we will one day suffer the terrible loss you are now going through.

Versache has NOT gone - he has only changed form. We humans, as Moonbeam says (she is sort of the "mother" of this site), live in a sensory world. If we can see or hear or touch something, we call it real. If we can't, we call it not real. Nothing could be further from the truth. Versache has shed his physical body and is once again living as a spirit. You can't see him or touch him or hear him, bit he is right where he ever was - by your side. Watching over you, guiding your steps and, most important of all, sharing the love you two have always shared.

You are among the very few blessed people whose soulmate has found them and shared a physical life with them. When Versache went to the Perfect World, he left a part of his soul for you to hold and love until you meet again in the Perfect World. And he took a piece of your soul to love and cherish until that time - which IS coming. Some people get signs or signals from their spirit animals, some don't. I'm a solo so I can get away with doing things that people who live with other people sometimes cannot. I was so sad after my Gretta (the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived) went home that I slept on her big orthopedic dog bed for over a week. One morning, just as I was opening my eyes I saw, for a fraction of a second, an Irish Setter between me and her dog dishes. Even though it didn't look like her, I knew it was her sending me a signal that she was OK. I have never seen or heard Rufus ( a half black lab- half Newfie) but I have felt his spirit many, many times. Like now, when I am on the computer, I can feel him lying upside down on the couch with his head hanging over the side. I know if I look, I will not see him, but I know he is there. And I talk to them and write to them here on this site.

Derrick, please be gentle with yourself during this pain - one of the greatest griefs there is in this life. Know that the beautiful Versache is right where he ever was - by your side. And you have come to what I think is THE best site on the net. People actually talk to each other and CARE. Every single one of us has gone through what you're going through and we're here for you 24/7. No one will ever tell you 'you should' here. We stand together as a supportive, caring band of brothers and sisters. Thank you for your gift of sharing Versache with us. Come here as often or as few times as YOU need to. We care. We understand.

Gretta and Rufus's mom