Sadness Heartbreak Sorrow, Snookie left this world 2 weeks ago Options

[Ann H]

It just seems so unreal that my darling girl has been gone for 2 weeks today. I think instead of it getting easier it has only been growing worse by the day. Oh I don't cry as much as I was and it's easier to put on a fake smile for people, but the longing to hold my little Snookie is getting worse.

I can't sleep very well and I often wake up calling Snookie's name. I have lost 16 pounds since she left this world 2 weeks ago today. Oh sure I needed to get rid of a lot more pounds than that but not like this I feel sick all the time. I have always enjoyed food and it shows so maybe if I'm lucky I will lose more.

I am just so tired and sad all the time and wish I could be alone somewhere and not have to get up and run this household for a while. I feel like I want to withdraw from everyone in my life and just have the luxury of not having to pretend things will be alright. I want to be alone with my memories of my little silver girl.

Things will never will be ok, I will never hold my little girl again in this world or kiss her sweet face, or be able to take her places with me. I will never hear her bark again or be able to play with her, hug her, or have her lick my tears away. I will never see her look at me with those eyes of love like only she could.

My 6 grand children will never be able to hug or play with Snookie again and seek comfort from holding her. The faces of my grand daugher Sara and I reflect the terrible loss and longing that we feel. The look on her face says everything that a millon words could never say about love and loss.

Sara was so sad that she did not see me take the camera and take this shot of her. She needs me to help her heal and I think I need her even more. Maybe together she and I and the rest of the family can find some peace and happiness but I really don't see any relief in sight for me in the near future. I just want back what I can't have my darling Snookie!!!!
Ann

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[KayKay]

I know exactly how you feel, Ann. I'm sitting here crying as I'm ready these messages. I decided that I needed to speak to a counselor, so I have a call in to the vet school. They have counselors on duty for a couple of hours three times a week. If I haven't heard from someone from there by 8:30 p.m., I'm going to call one of the 24-hour services I found online. I desperately need to talk to talk to someone with training.

I knew this day was going to be bad because I had to tell the owner of the shelter we adopted Sonnie from about his passing. When I told her, she put her hands over her face and cried. She remembered him because we would take him by to see her occassionally, and we gave her a picture of both babies we got from them. She hugged me and told me that she knew there wasn't anything she could say to make it better, and that she completely understood. Her sheltie companion of 14 years died last month. She's still in the grieving process herself. She also said that it doesn't get any easier for her even though she's placed 24,000+ pets over the years - she still cries for the ones who pass on for whatever reason. She was so understanding and wonderful. I told her about this website and a couple of others, so she asked me to send them to her via email. I did that this afternoon. She was happy to hear that there were places for grieving pet owners/companions to go to talk. She wants to give us another pet - when and if we're ever ready. I explained that we know it costs money to take care of all the animals she takes in, so we would gladly pay the adoption fee for another pet. I told her I didn't know how soon that would be, and she said she understood perfectly.

It's been 15 days since we lost Sonnie. It feels like it's been a lot longer because the days seem so long. The pain is stil pretty deep, and I cry at the drop of a hat. I so badly know how you feel. I want to be over this part, but I know only time will heal my heart as it will yours.

Take it one day at a time and cry when you feel the need. Just remember to post as much as you need to.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.