It's Over Options

[JuliaSC]

My cat was missing since October 19th, today is November 18th. My neighbor said she saw him on a highway. I went there, was driving back and forth, it's hard to say if it's my baby Miles, because the picture is awful. I couldn't stop there, because it's 3 lane busy highway, I could only slow down to 30mph and people were getting angry. My neighbor said it looked very much like him when she saw it earlier, but she was driving by on a high speed as well. The highway is very close to our house, there is like woods and then the highway. I still can't understand why would he go there, cats supposed to stay away from busy roads, I thought it's their instinct. My husband is saying we still don't know if it's him. I don't know if I just should accept that he is dead, or to keep my hopes up that he is fine and lives his life. It's so hard. I can't wait to move now. I just can't stand being here without him, being on the porch and not to see him hunting for birds, going to feed my other cat and see only 1 bowl on the floor, I can't stand to look at his toys laying there untouched, I can't stand not to be able to cuddle with him, not to hear him making those funny noises when he sleeps. I can not accept he is gone! We just have adopted him 2 years ago! 2 short years! That's all we had? I still find his fur in the house, his little tiny white fur... I have bunch of it in my car, because we were training him and his brother to be able to have a long car trip. We took them for a ride around the block, they were freaking out. I was hoping they get used to the car before we move across the country. So Miles was all over my car and have some of his white fur on the seats. It made me cry.
And also my husband said if Miles is alive he is somewhere out there having fun that's why he is not coming home just yet. And if it was Miles there on the road, then he is in a better place and will wait for us when we are done with our Earth's life and join him.
I just can't find the strength. I'm feeling so empty and hopeless...
Thank you, guys, for listening.

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[JuliaSC]

Also I couldn't find Animal Control number, I only see like Pest Control companies, and Wildlife Removal services... I don't know who picks up dead animals from highways?
I don't have 100% of the proof it was him! I mean yes, he has been gone over a month, yes, my neighbor said it was him, but I only saw a mess what could be another white-black cat. Even though it's a very small possibility it was other cat, I still don not have 100% evidence that it WAS him. I don't know if those services who picks up dead animals even scan them for microchip, probably not, because he didnt even had a collar with a tag (my huge mistake). But once again I still have maybe a very tiny possibility that somehow he is alive and well somewhere out there, maybe even found a loving home. You know, why should I trust my neighbor who doesn't even care and only pretends like she does. I mean if someone cares they would let the person know right away that they saw their cat killed not a few days after!!! Screw her and what she said! I dont know my cat is dead! Everyhting I know is that he is not home. That's it. So I accept that I don't know anything, and we'll stop right here. My cat left the house, we tried to find him, never did, we heard bad stories from other people but never confirmed so everything we have is that we don't know where he is at and what has happened. But it's okay! We can't control life, we can't control our animals, they are not a toys, they are alive spiritual beings with their own will and purpose. We are not in control of life and death. But no need to be afraid or upset, because it is okay, everything happens for a reason. If you believe it, if you know it, it brings you peace.