Endless Love Options

[kmariebanks]

I am numb as I write this and feel lost in the world alone. 10/28/13 my boy Boots was put to sleep around 3pm. I kissed him until the end and cuddled his warm body. the moments after are a blurr. all I wanted was to hold my baby and keep kissing him for hours and hours until his body was picked up. My baby was suppose to be getting better. He played for me the week before only to find him sunday unable to walk. before his procedure he was assessed and it was noted that his right pupil was dilated and pulses uneven. Boots threw an ischemic clot paralyzing his right side. I miss my boy.................................. every moment is hard. I keep looking for him, expecting him to hope on the bed and give me kisses and cuddle-buddle with me. I have to bite my tongue from yelling for him. ive been screaming and hollering myself to sleep so much that my blood pressure has been dangerously high and causing nose bleeds. when will my hurt stop, when will I stop feeling guilty. my baby......I miss my baby so much.

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[Scarlett's M...]

Hi Ke,

Just wanted to let you know that I understand your grief and that I am so sorry for your loss so very sorry. The first weeks after losing our beautiful Scarlett are a blur for me but I could not have gotten through it without making sure I got proper rest and nourishment. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself. I am still grieving for our Scarlett but from the amazing people on this site I've been told that the grief will become less intense at some point. I hold on to the hope that it does - for all of us.

I just wanted to stop by to let you know that you are not alone and that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending you healing energy.

- Scarlett's Mom

[kmariebanks]

Thank you Scarlett's Mom
I am still not taking things well. I've barely ate and sleeping with my baby's ashes every night to cope. I am not doing well mentally. I tried calling a petloss grief hotline the other day and got a voice mail....... I hung up and just held by baby's ashes to me close and cried. I've gotten out the house this weekend and my husband DEMANDED we go to church this AM because he recognizes I am not doing good mentally. My hubby told me I went into 2 trances the other night and began talking crazy. it scared him so bad. Boots passing has been the icing on the cake for all the mental stress I am going through. all I can do is take this day by day and pray. I have anti-depressant medication but I don't feel like it is helping. This is crazy!!! I am a healthcare professional..my job is to help others at times like this! I am angry that I cant snap out of it and help myself. I am off for this whole week ( thankfully) so I can pull myself together before returning to work. Please just keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I will be pushing on daily.

Hi Ke,

Just wanted to let you know that I understand your grief and that I am so sorry for your loss so very sorry. The first weeks after losing our beautiful Scarlett are a blur for me but I could not have gotten through it without making sure I got proper rest and nourishment. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself. I am still grieving for our Scarlett but from the amazing people on this site I've been told that the grief will become less intense at some point. I hold on to the hope that it does - for all of us.

I just wanted to stop by to let you know that you are not alone and that I will be keeping you in my thoughts and sending you healing energy.

- Scarlett's Mom