More Than 3 Months Since I Lost My Precious Emma Options

[EmmasMom]

My precious, special dog, Emma, slipped quietly away from me on her own in July. She had been unwell the whole time she was with me -- she was a former puppy mill breeder with multiple medical problems. But we managed every day as it came and had seven years of love and joy together.

Emma was special -- very quiet and slow-moving, never played and rarely wagged her tail. But when she did wag, the world lit up with joy. Everyone who met her fell instantly in love and wanted to take care of her.

I can't stop thinking about how she died in my arms so quietly. It was only luck that I was with her at the time. She just gave up at last. I am so devastated, I don't know what to do. I still cry every day and kiss her bed and pretend to pet her soft fur. I feel like I'm crazy, but I want her to be with me so much that I pretend she is. And then I cry even harder. I can't bear to put her things away and her little dishes and a bone she left are still there. Will I ever accept her loss? I really expected to feel some relief from having to deal with all her medications and vet visits, and all the pressure of having to get home from anywhere quickly. But I don't feel any relief, just a terrible emptiness.

All the joy has gone out of my life because Emma was my joy.

[moon_beam]

Hi, EmmasMom, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Emma. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. It is so very special that her transition journey home to the angels was blessed with her being wrapped in the warmth of your loving arms. This is not "luck", EmmasMom - - this is a blessing.

EmmasMom, this grief journey is one of the most painful experiences you will know on this side of eternity. It is a journey that can only be traveled one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time in your own way and in your own time. It is a journey that cannot be reconciled in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month, or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the memories that can be all too painful right now that include "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" to endure.

It is a journey that is not one of "acceptance" but rather is one of "adjustment to" the physical absence of your beloved Emma, and it is a very painful adjustment both physically and emotionally. When our companions come into our hearts, our lives are changed for the better. They literally become the center of our universe as they are totally dependent upon us for their every need - - food, medical care, emotional nurture. When they precede us to the angels, our lives are changed again. We are faced with the incredibly painful task of re-inventing our daily routines that no longer include the physical presence of our beloved companions.

Please let me try to reassure you that you are not "crazy" for doing things that help you with your deep grief. Every time our companions kiss / lick us, rub against us, etc., they are literally chemically imprinting themselves on us so that they can identify us from all the other millions of people on this planet. When this stops, scientific studies prove that our bodies literally go through a physical withdrawal, and it is a very painful experience. So it is vitally important that you find healthy ways to help ease the pain you feel when you long to hold your precious Emma in your arms and be close to her. One of our correspondents actually slept on her beloved companion's doggie bed for awhile. I have slept with one of my companion's collars under my pillow. And most of us here have held a toy or blanket - - something - - that belongs only to our beloved companion in our arms when the ache to hold them becomes painfully unbearable during the very deep grief. So please know you are NOT "crazy", EmmasMom. What you are feeling is painfully REAL, and sadly normal.

When we are in the throes of very deep grief we have very little control over our emotions, and this, too, is a normal part of the grief adjustment journey. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears for they literally wash the toxins out of our body that build up from the stress of grief. So it is very important that you allow yourself the opportunities you need to openly release your deep sorrow - - even if you must find a place of privacy to do so.

Although your life is going through a very traumatic adjustment, there is one thing that will never change - - and that is the love bond you and your beloved Emma share. Love is eternal - - it is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Even though your beloved Emma is not physically with you now, her sweet Living Spirit continues to share your earthly journey as she always has and always will - - for she is always and forever a part of your heart and memories - - she is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

I know all too well from first hand experience that when our hearts are entrenched in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. I can only hope the words I share with you will be able to offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey. It is important that you know you are not alone, EmmasMom - - for each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

EmmasMom, thank you so much for honoring us by sharing your beloved Emma with us. Perhaps sometime you would like to share a picture of her with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, EmmasMom, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam