Endless Love Options

[kmariebanks]

I am numb as I write this and feel lost in the world alone. 10/28/13 my boy Boots was put to sleep around 3pm. I kissed him until the end and cuddled his warm body. the moments after are a blurr. all I wanted was to hold my baby and keep kissing him for hours and hours until his body was picked up. My baby was suppose to be getting better. He played for me the week before only to find him sunday unable to walk. before his procedure he was assessed and it was noted that his right pupil was dilated and pulses uneven. Boots threw an ischemic clot paralyzing his right side. I miss my boy.................................. every moment is hard. I keep looking for him, expecting him to hope on the bed and give me kisses and cuddle-buddle with me. I have to bite my tongue from yelling for him. ive been screaming and hollering myself to sleep so much that my blood pressure has been dangerously high and causing nose bleeds. when will my hurt stop, when will I stop feeling guilty. my baby......I miss my baby so much.

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