I Miss My Little Buddy, Mr. Cat is gone Options

[aepheva]

I'm crying again tonight even though I lost my little buddy 3 weeks ago. Daddy Cat (aka Mr Cat) started going downhill in September and I had him euthanized on 4 October. Part of me feels incredibly guilty I did not move more quickly to figure out why he seemed to be slowing down a few months ago. The vet did blood tests and they turned up no problems, but suddenly in September he stopped eating and eventually we found out he had a really bad heart problem. I can't stop thinking that I should have been more concerned about him over the summer.

And then there is the guilt that maybe I put him through too much as we tried to figure out what was wrong and help him get better. He had a little plateau where he began eating again and then he went back into a decline.

I have to admit he was by far my favorite cat of the four that I had and I doted on him. And I feel like I let him down when he needed me the most. The last few weeks of his life I'd let him outside whenever he wanted (he was an inside/outside cat, though he had less interest in being outside the older he got, and he had a fenced in yard to keep him safe) and sit with him as long as he wanted to be out there. and I could get him to play a little, and eat some catnip, but I remember feeling so sad because it was the fall and I had the feeling he would not be around for the winter. And he seemed so...tired. But he had flashes of his old self. Three times I decided to euthanize him and then couldn't go through with it. But the last time I knew I had to.

Now my heart is broken. It seems like he's just out of reach, but he's gone forever. Forever! I'm so sorry little buddy.

I found the post on this site about when I lost my Oscar back in 2006. I mentioned Mr. Cat then - he showed up the very next day to visit. And even though he had hissed at me before, he started letting me get close. Eventually he adopted me and decided he wanted to share the house. That's what makes this so hard. My little buddy adopted me, and now he's gone.

[moon_beam]

Hi, aepheva, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and this wonderful picture of your beloved Mr. Cat. He is a very handsome kitty, and you are forever blessed to be his Forever Mom.

Unfortunately this grief journey is not a straight line from A to Z, but is one filled with many ups and downs, twists and turns, and turnarounds without any forewarning - - it is a journey that is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride.

It is important for your health that you allow yourself the opportunities to openly grieve for your beloved Mr. Cat. Scientific studies prove that the tears we cry are literally healing tears as they literally wash the toxins out of our bodies that build up from the stress of grief. Some people think that if they suppress their grief it will make the sorrow less painful and intense. Clinical studies prove this is definitely the wrong thing to do for suppressed grief will eventually need to be addressed and the stress from suppressing the grief can cause other medical complications that can lead to emergency situations.

I know all too well from first hand experience how difficult it is to put on the "public face" at work and around others when our hearts are deeply grieving. But it is vitally important that you find the time when you can openly release your deep sorrow without fear of criticism.

Aepheva, thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Mr. Cat with us. I hope today is treating you kindly and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Mr. Cat's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, aepheva, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam