A Struggle, facing a loss of our sweet Shih Tzu Charlie Options

[lisateresa68]

Hello Friends,
I'm Lisa. My husband Paul and I have four Shih Tzu and three cats. I did Shih Tzu rescue for almost 10 years but eventually "retired" with my own two "original" pups and four more or less permanent fosters that we adopted when I left the rescue I was with.

I always fostered the senior dogs and the special health and behavioral needs dogs. I loved it but it came with heartbreak...namely dealing with the loss of these precious babies when their times came...and that time did always come. In the past three years we have lost Lola - a Maltese poodle cross with congenital liver disease, Chet - a Lhasa with a seizure disorder and severe diabetes, Lettie - a 16 year old blind/deaf Lhasa cross with multiple heath issues, and Nelson, a Lhasa with CHF. Each of these losses was incredibly difficult and painful, and not one day goes by where I don't think of them and wish I had just a little more time with them.

But now has come something even harder, although I would have thought that hard to imagine. One of my two "original" Shih Tzu - meaning, one of the two dogs my husband directly adopted, not fostered, and have had since they were pups - Charlie, has lymphoma which has become inoperable.

It started with a lump on his thorax/throat area. That was removed. Then another lower on his torso, behind his front legs. Removed, grew back, removed. It grew back and was removed again. That time, my vet told me after his surgery that it had been fairly impossible for her to get all the margins of the tumor and she was afraid it would grow back. It didn't for a long time...and then it did. While it was still very small, we went in again. This time, she called me while Charlie was still on the operating table and told me that he had so little viable tissue left in that area that she was afraid she couldn't close him up properly. I asked her to do her best and she did. We expected him to bleed out within 48 hours, but he miraculously healed. And of course the tumors came back within a couple of months. My husband and I made the decision, with our vet, not to operate again because it was just too much for him...and I didn't want my baby to die on the OR table. So fast forward a few months and a million prayers later - his tumors are large, his muscle is wasting and my sweet boy isn't the boy he always was. He is on mild pain meds as needed but he is beginning to have difficulty walking comfortably. He can't get up on furniture. His tumors show no sign of letting up. He gets great supplements and an excellent diet, which I believe has helped a lot, but I am beginning to deal with the fact that despite our hopes, we will lose him to this battle with lymphoma. How I hate the idea. He is the sweetest of the sweet - just this little tiny, puff-chested red and white ewok who is all emotion. We have enjoyed and loved and lived with CHarlie for eight years. I am taking him back to my vet today for a new pain medication plan assessment and to talk about what to expect in the coming days and hopefully weeks.

I'll keep y'all posted; I just had to write to someone and tell them what is happening. I am a strong person who thinks it is perfectly normal to bawl ones eyes out over a lost furbaby...but this particular pending loss is just...too hard to think about right now.
Thank you for letting me share. Lisa
This is Charlie

[moon_beam]

Hi, Lisa, please permit me to offer you my sincerest and deepest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Charlie. I am so very sorry that the results of the surgery were not as you and your husband - - and your veterinary care provider - - and I - - were hoping for. I do so know from first hand experience how deeply heartbroken you are feeling. I also know from first hand experience that when our hearts are in deep grief there really are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow. Still I do hope the words I share with you will offer you some measure of comfort, support, encouragement, and hope as you travel your grief adjustment journey.

Thank you so much for honoring us in sharing your beloved Charlie with us, Lisa. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam