I Lost My Baby Girl Today Options

[Russ]

Today I had to say good-bye to Sarah my first and only dog I've ever had. I got her as a puppy from the humane society in 1998. She has been more than I've ever dreamed a dog could be and by having no children of my own she was my baby girl. It has been just me and her living alone for the past seven years. I can't believe I won't see her anymore. I've been grieving for the last year knowing I was going to lose her. I've cried and cried many, many times but nothing prepared me for the crippling emptiness I have inside now. I miss her so much and I told her I was sorry again and again. The medicine she was taking wasn't working anymore and this morning she was yelling in pain and I couldn't stop it any other way but to rush her to her vet. It was a horrific experience to see her go and I want my baby girl back. I'm almost 50 years old and have been divorced from my wife for 7 years and now I'm alone. I LOVE YOU SARAH Daddy loves you so much baby girl.

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[Russ]

Thank you both for understanding where I'm coming from. It's hard to put feelings into words. It's a comfort to hear that others can relate to this struggle, although I wish we never had to face it.
This past week I've found myself becoming increasingly depressed and along with that goes a constant state of exhaustion. It truly is difficult to do the simplest tasks. Tomorrow will be 4-weeks since I lost my Sarah. Honestly it feels like she has been gone for months and months. My heart continues to beat and I take in breath but it's not my doing as I am just existing in a world that is dark and so very lonely. Yes grief is unpredictable, a few weeks ago I was doing much better than now. The time that is passing is like an arrow plunging deeper and deeper into my heart. I love Sarah so much, and I would hate her to think her passing is to blame for my agonizing state. It's not her fault it's just something unavoidable on this Earth.
I'm blessed that both my parents, now in their mid 80's, are still here and have been helping me to get by since this happened. They lost a cat last year that they'd had for 18-years so they can relate to my loss. I hope this improves sometime soon as I'm feeling guilty for appearing like I'm not attempting to move ahead with my life. But like I've said, just standing up can feel like I'm lifting 1,000 pounds and nothing looks important to me. So much that I used to do has now lost all value and meaning. Intense stress related dreams have been becoming more frequent this week and leaves me in a daze when I wake. Thank you all for listening.