I Lost My Baby Girl Today Options

[Russ]

Today I had to say good-bye to Sarah my first and only dog I've ever had. I got her as a puppy from the humane society in 1998. She has been more than I've ever dreamed a dog could be and by having no children of my own she was my baby girl. It has been just me and her living alone for the past seven years. I can't believe I won't see her anymore. I've been grieving for the last year knowing I was going to lose her. I've cried and cried many, many times but nothing prepared me for the crippling emptiness I have inside now. I miss her so much and I told her I was sorry again and again. The medicine she was taking wasn't working anymore and this morning she was yelling in pain and I couldn't stop it any other way but to rush her to her vet. It was a horrific experience to see her go and I want my baby girl back. I'm almost 50 years old and have been divorced from my wife for 7 years and now I'm alone. I LOVE YOU SARAH Daddy loves you so much baby girl.

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[CritzyJ]

Dear Russ and Tara,

Just wanted to offer you a little bit of hope during this difficult time. When I lost Joe and Steve six weeks ago, I didn't think I could get through it. I cried so hard I almost couldn't breathe. The knot in my chest felt like it was going to explode. I didn't think it would ever go away and I didn't want it to go away because I thought that it would mean a lost connection between me and my boys.

What I have found recently, though, is that the intense pain does ease up. I'm still sad and still cry a little bit most days (even today), but I am able to think of them fondly. I don't dwell all day about their last days and that final day. The pain and missing them is still there, but it's manageable somehow.

I do have one reoccurring thing, though. I process and process, I work through the grief. I journal. I light candles for them on most days and then all of a sudden I get this feeling like, "Okay, I've worked through this. I'm doing better. Now, it's time for them to come home." Like grieving well should somehow have the reward of my kitties returning to me. And the pain hits all over again. I guess that means that deep down inside there's a part of me still in denial that they're gone.

The one thing I'm not doing is stuffing my feelings away. I lost a precious kitty 13 years ago, grieved for a few weeks and then stuffed all my feelings in a box and moved on. I wouldn't really recommend that as I felt I did lose a connection to him (until he came to me in a dream a few weeks ago with Joe and Steve). I still feel Joe and Steve with me and I intend to continue to keep that connection going because I loved them so completely and they were such precious companions to me for such a long time.

I hope my experience gives you hope that you can get through this. The day will come when you feel like you can do this. And you'll probably cycle back and forth, but the happier times will come. I'm hoping for all of us that those days will come.

CritzyJ