My Beautiful Cat Drowned In Our Backyard Options

[scoutsmom]

My soulmate, my best friend, my cat "Scout", healthy and only 7 years old, died tragically after drowning in our pool 2 weeks ago.

I am overcome with guilt and feel it is my fault. I let him down and should have protected and saved him. I just don't know how to forgive myself. Scout was an indoor/outdoor cat his whole life. I tried to keep him inside but he had his own personality and always wanted to go out when it was nice out. He has been going outside since as long as I can remember. I figured he was a veteran pro from being outside as we have lived in a townhome, a farm, and a suburb home with a pool during his life. Last summer he was out much more and the pool was open. He never showed any interest in the pool at all. I never saw him climb on the ledge before and I have been outside with him a lot. I used to have a house with a much larger inground pool in the backyard and he never went near it even though he went outside so I never thought he would try to go into the pool.

This particular evening I was kind of in a bad mood from work, I came home and said hi to Scout but didn't really give him a lot of extra attention. I feel so bad that I didn't give him any treats or cuddle him up that day. My fiance was grilling out and Scout wanted to go outside so he opened the door for him.

Scout often would disappear when outside only to reappear hours later. Though lately, he hadn't been going out as much. I never let him stay out after dark and I trained him since he was a kitten to come to the sound of me clinging his food dish with a spoon. He ALWAYS came no matter what when he heard that sound and I gave him food. Well after about 2 hours I realized he had been outside awhile and it was just before sunset so I went to the side door where a tree is that he liked to sleep under and started calling for him and clanging the dish&spoon. He didn't come so I went out into the backyard and started making the sound with the dish but to my horror I looked over to our swimming pool, and there he was floating on top. I'll never get that image out of my head. I screamed, dropped the dish I was banging on ran to the pool and fished him out. He was already gone. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to give CPR to a cat. My fiance ran outside and is professionally trained in CPR and started giving him CPR like you would give to a baby. He tried for 10 minutes doing CPR but it didn't work. Now I feel terrible because I have been researching how to give a cat CPR and we should have held him upside down and shake him back and forth so the water would drain from his lungs...I hate that I didn't think to google "cat cpr" when this was happening. I was just in panic. My fiance said it doesn't matter that he was already cold and gone and he tried to give him CPR for several minutes. I still wish I would have googled how to give a cat CPR so maybe I could have brought him back...

I feel so absolutely horrible still. I was majorly depressed the first few days and took 2 days off work. We were sitting on the couch the entire time just feet from the pool with the screen door wide open because it was the first nice day of the summer when it wasn't too hot or rainy and we never heard any splashing or sounds. I went out the next day and we put the TV on the same volume level and made a splash in the pool and had my fiance sit where we were and he said he could hear the splash. It just seems I would have been able to hear him if he was struggling for his life in any way.

I feel horrible and like the worst person in the world. My Scout still had so much life ahead of him still and because I didn't save him he is gone. I just can't live with myself knowing I didn't save him and was just sitting nearby as he drowned.

I don't know how I will ever get over this. It wasn't like he was sick and old -- as sad as that is-- he was still young and healthy. He was supposed to stick around 10+ more years. I just feel horrible that this happened to my poor baby Scout.

I don't even know why I am writing this , I am sure most people will think I am horrible for letting him outside-- I just needed to write about it. I'll never forgive myself. All I do now is go to his spot where he would always sit on our couch and look out the window and I cry--every night since this happened. I hug the cushion because his fur is still on it. I miss my baby so much.

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[scoutsmom]

Dannysmom,

That is what haunts me about that day. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that we were sitting nearby with the screen door wide open and it seems we would have heard him splashing or some kind of noise. We didn’t hear a peep. And yes, I had my fiancé go out and make a splash with the volume level of the TV at the same level we had it that evening and I did hear him. I did think about an evil person doing it on purpose but for the same reasons I believe we would have heard or seen someone walk into our back yard. Also, we only have 1 set of neighbors and they have and love animals so I doubt they would hurt my cat suddenly out of the blue.

I will never know what happened I guess. It’s futile now to think about I suppose because it won’t ever know. I just hope that he didn’t suffer too much and that he knows how very sorry I am that I didn’t save him and that I would give anything to have him back again. Thank you for your kind thoughts.