Heart Broken And Guilt Ridden, Our baby girl Scarlett passed away... Options

[Scarlett's M...]

Our beloved Scarlett passed away this Thursday, July 11, 2013. The heartbreak is unbearable. We are grief stricken and guilt ridden. She had be dealing with recurring UTI's since the Fall - we would go to the vet - the vet prescribed antibiotics and she'd be clear of the UTI only to have another. This kept happening so we (my husband and I) brought our little Scarlett to a holistic Vet to try to get to the bottom of the UTI's once and for all. Scarlett was again put on a round of Antibotics - my husband brought her into the Vet and I told him to hold off on getting her tested - her history had always been that the test would come back clear and then she'd have another UTI a week later. Scarlett began getting lethargic. We had her on a number of Vitamin supplements and fresh dog food that she just absolutely loved. We brought her back to the vet and asked about her lethargy the vet said she may not be getting the right about of carbs. The owner of the place where we got her fresh food recommended that we add a digestive enzyme to her diet and nutritional powder. That night at her dinner I gave her both - when we went to bed she coughed like she had something stuck in her throat - I massaged her throat and my husband took her downstairs to stay with him on the couch. He said her breathing would be ok when he held her on his chest but not regular when she laid by herself. The next morning she was fine except for the fact that she stopped eating - we thought it was because she had the bad experience the night before, maybe it was the enzyme, maybe it was just an allergic reaction. We brought her back to the vet. The vet said she looked fine - and maybe the enzyme was too intense. We stopped all the supplements and just tried to get her to eat. We talked about getting her tested for the UTI (a culture) after she started to eat normally again so we could get an accurate reading. The test runs about $200 so we opted to hold off.

Scarlett started panting more and her breathing became more labored but as it did my husband and I never thought this was serious - we don't know why but we just didn't. Scarlett became more and more lethargic over the next couple days - Saturday July 6th, 2013 we took our baby to the beach - we walked around for hours - her spirits were up - and we hoped she would be hungry when we got home. We did think that possibly she had stopped eating because she was becoming picky. Me and my husband tried to get her all different kinds for foods to tempt her - to no avail - I would even try to put egg whites in her mouth, which she would look at me and then promptly she'd spit out. By monday I looked at my sweet baby and knew something was wrong - my husband came home and we decided we'd take her in to see her vet early the next morning. When we got to her vet she informed us that this was an emergency and that they were not equipped to handle it - she gave us the info for an Emergency Hospital. We rushed her over to the ER. After taking blood and an x-ray it was thought that she had pancreatitis - we took her home with an IV - the next day no change in her so we took her back and admitted her. We saw another doctor this day and she informed us that this could be serious and linked it back to her UTI's. We placed her there for 48hr care - went to visit her at night, called a couple times to check on her. The last call being on July 11th 7am. The nurse said she was waging her tail. 20mins later we got the call - her heart stopped. We ok'ed CPR but our little angel was gone. The final lab results aren't in but it's believed that she died from her chronic UTI - it was never fully cleared and we can't help feeling like its our fault, had we tested her sooner, brought her in sooner maybe she'd still be with us. We r devastated by her passing & the guilt is unbearable. I've had many deaths in my life my parents died by the time I was 5 yrs old, my grandmother who raised me when I was 18 - my husband has had family members pass away too and his childhood furry baby Brandy but Scarlett's passing is beyond bearable for either of us - my husband and I are inconsolable.

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[moon_beam]

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your husband are doing. I am so glad you are finding comfort in the information the ER vet is providing you. Unfortunately blood clots cannot be predicted, and when they happen they are, sadly, usually fatal. While blood thinners may have helped to prevent a blood clot from forming, the ER vet is correct in that the effects of the medication could have posed other more serious side-effects. Several years ago while I was hospitalized for serious injuries I had to be on blood thinners to prevent blood clots from forming, and I had to be monitored very closely for bleeding when I underwent additional surgeries.

As to the matter of the insensitivity of your Aunt, - - sadly, sometimes the people who are closest to us both emotionally and geographically are the people who are the least sensitive to our feelings of grief when we are adjusting to the physical absence of a beloved companion. I, too, have family members who are totally insensitive to me, - - so I simply avoid talking to them about my companions. I am the only sibling who has never married and never had human children - - and yes, my siblings do take GREAT EXCEPTION to me talking about my companions as my "chlidren". The fact that you and your husband have decided not to have human children is YOUR business - - no one else's - - not even your Aunt's. It is obvious that she has made her position clear to you, and that she has no intention of extending any compassion to you and your husband in your grief journey. While it is hard to avoid contact with family members, my advice to you and your husband is to keep the topics of discussion as simple as possible and AVOID all discussion concerning your feelings about your beloved Scarlett. I do know from first hand experience how deeply it hurts to be scoffed at and rejected because of your feelings for your beloved Scarlett, but you are "changing the rules" of your relationship with your Aunt for your and your husband's self-preservation from emotional abuse from your Aunt. This is YOUR right, Scarlett's Mom, and your Aunt needs to learn to respect your rights. You and your husband are intelligent adults and deserve to be treated with respect.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing, and how things go with your latest consult with the ER vet regarding what happened with your beloved Scarlett.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam