Heart Broken And Guilt Ridden, Our baby girl Scarlett passed away... Options

[Scarlett's M...]

Our beloved Scarlett passed away this Thursday, July 11, 2013. The heartbreak is unbearable. We are grief stricken and guilt ridden. She had be dealing with recurring UTI's since the Fall - we would go to the vet - the vet prescribed antibiotics and she'd be clear of the UTI only to have another. This kept happening so we (my husband and I) brought our little Scarlett to a holistic Vet to try to get to the bottom of the UTI's once and for all. Scarlett was again put on a round of Antibotics - my husband brought her into the Vet and I told him to hold off on getting her tested - her history had always been that the test would come back clear and then she'd have another UTI a week later. Scarlett began getting lethargic. We had her on a number of Vitamin supplements and fresh dog food that she just absolutely loved. We brought her back to the vet and asked about her lethargy the vet said she may not be getting the right about of carbs. The owner of the place where we got her fresh food recommended that we add a digestive enzyme to her diet and nutritional powder. That night at her dinner I gave her both - when we went to bed she coughed like she had something stuck in her throat - I massaged her throat and my husband took her downstairs to stay with him on the couch. He said her breathing would be ok when he held her on his chest but not regular when she laid by herself. The next morning she was fine except for the fact that she stopped eating - we thought it was because she had the bad experience the night before, maybe it was the enzyme, maybe it was just an allergic reaction. We brought her back to the vet. The vet said she looked fine - and maybe the enzyme was too intense. We stopped all the supplements and just tried to get her to eat. We talked about getting her tested for the UTI (a culture) after she started to eat normally again so we could get an accurate reading. The test runs about $200 so we opted to hold off.

Scarlett started panting more and her breathing became more labored but as it did my husband and I never thought this was serious - we don't know why but we just didn't. Scarlett became more and more lethargic over the next couple days - Saturday July 6th, 2013 we took our baby to the beach - we walked around for hours - her spirits were up - and we hoped she would be hungry when we got home. We did think that possibly she had stopped eating because she was becoming picky. Me and my husband tried to get her all different kinds for foods to tempt her - to no avail - I would even try to put egg whites in her mouth, which she would look at me and then promptly she'd spit out. By monday I looked at my sweet baby and knew something was wrong - my husband came home and we decided we'd take her in to see her vet early the next morning. When we got to her vet she informed us that this was an emergency and that they were not equipped to handle it - she gave us the info for an Emergency Hospital. We rushed her over to the ER. After taking blood and an x-ray it was thought that she had pancreatitis - we took her home with an IV - the next day no change in her so we took her back and admitted her. We saw another doctor this day and she informed us that this could be serious and linked it back to her UTI's. We placed her there for 48hr care - went to visit her at night, called a couple times to check on her. The last call being on July 11th 7am. The nurse said she was waging her tail. 20mins later we got the call - her heart stopped. We ok'ed CPR but our little angel was gone. The final lab results aren't in but it's believed that she died from her chronic UTI - it was never fully cleared and we can't help feeling like its our fault, had we tested her sooner, brought her in sooner maybe she'd still be with us. We r devastated by her passing & the guilt is unbearable. I've had many deaths in my life my parents died by the time I was 5 yrs old, my grandmother who raised me when I was 18 - my husband has had family members pass away too and his childhood furry baby Brandy but Scarlett's passing is beyond bearable for either of us - my husband and I are inconsolable.

Attached image(s)

 

[Scarlett's M...]

Moonbeam,

I have a question about insensitive comments: Our baby passed away one month ago today - the adjustment to her not being with us is physically continues to be incredibly difficult. On top of this loss I've had to deal with a family member being insensitive to our grief. Me and my husband decided a while ago not to have children, a choice my family never understood but just the other day my Aunt made it her business to let me know all of her thoughts - I was told horrendous things like Scarlett was only a dog, why don't you have a child then you'll understand that Scarlett was not your baby, get over it, that I was weird and if I told any parent that had lost a real child about our grief over Scarlett they would take offense to it since she was only a dog not a person. Already raw from our loss of Scarlett these words from my Aunt inflicted even more pain on us. I told her that this was only her opinion and got off the phone as quick as I could and haven't spoken to her since - this was a couple days ago. Have you ever had to deal with this? I'd love to hear any suggestions on how to heal from this and deal with it, I know I can't handle another verbal assault from her.

Also, I wanted to let you know how we are doing after speaking to Scarlett's ER Vet. There were many decisions and mini decisions we made over the two weeks prior to Scarlett's passing that we've replayed over and over in our minds. We spoke to the ER Vet - she was patient and extremely knowledgeable about Scarlett's condition and it is also clear that she still questions her colleagues misdiagnosis of Pancreatitis.

What happened to our sweet baby girl could not be fully explained - the ER Vet said that when we brought our baby in she was extremely sick and had become septic but that she should have recovered, she should have pulled through. The ER Vet said Scarlett was responding to the antibiotics and was well on her way to recovery. The ER Vet explained that in her practice she had treated other furry babies that have come in completely septic and in far worse condition then our Scarlett and made a complete recovery.

Why didn't our Scarlett recover?

It was explained to us that after our morning call checking on our baby Scarlett let out a yelp and went into cardiac arrest. The ER Vet was not there at that time but this is what the on duty doctor noted. The ER Vet attributes the yelp to a blood clot, she said that in her professional opinion the blood clot was a reaction to the Urinary Tract Infection - it was her bodies response to the infection. It was then explained to us that Veterinary medicine is not a perfect science - and it is based on human medicine. The ER VET said in hindsight the only thing that may have been an option would have been to put our baby on a blood thinner while she was in the hospital but that may have opened her up to other medical problems, but again that's only with the benefit of hindsight.

The fact that Scarlett's ER Vet repeated over and over that we brought our baby to the ER in time for her to recover and that she was well on her way to a full recovery has lifted some heaviness off our hearts and souls which we are so grateful for. The void in our lives without our baby girl is beyond what words can express but we are trying to adjust by taking it one day at a time.