Goodbye To Joe And Steve Options

[CritzyJ]

I'm so glad to have found this website and the opportunity to grieve along side others. Two days ago, I said goodbye to my two cats, Steve and Joe. Steve was 15 years old and had been diagnosed with kidney failure in April. Despite all our efforts with food, medication, and sub-Q fluids, his systems continued to shut down and his health was failing. Joe was 20 years old and had been diagnosed in June with a large cancerous mass in his chest that was pushing on his trachea, making it hard for him to breathe. My husband and I decided that we didn't want to drag out their lives to the point of extreme suffering and wanted to let them go when they were still in moderate, but declining health. Even still, the decision was agonizing. I wanted them to tell me when they were ready and though their bodies were telling me, they themselves were not. They still socialized and wanted to eat, so I just wasn't sure how to make the decision. Then on Wednesday, they both told me they were ready. It was clear that the time had come, so I let them go.

I thought the letting go part was going to be the hardest, but now two days later, I realize that the real pain comes in the unfolding of memories and the absence of them which seems to scream it's presence throughout the house. My heart is absolutely broken. Yesterday I ordered some garden stones engraved with their names and four little paw print stones to put in the flower garden where they loved to sleep. When I clicked to confirm the order, it was like being punched in the chest. So final.

As I look through photo albums of the last 20 years, I find pictures of them sprinkled throughout the memories of our marriage and it occurred to me that that sprinkling was like they really were in our lives. Cats are kind of elusive and do their own thing and their presence is sprinkled throughout each day, each week, each passing year. In their older years, they were more home bodies and hung out with us and the dogs. Last night I cried so hard I could barely breathe and while I know the pain will eventually lessen, it's hard to believe it ever could. A part of me almost doesn't want it to lesson as that signifies a greater depth of letting go and I never want to let go.

So, I'm rambling and I'm going to stop now, but it feels good just to say it. Thank you for listening.

Jennifer

[moon_beam]

Hi, CritzyJ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your precious Vanessa and Chloe are doing. Please let me try to reassure you that it is perfectly normal for companions who remain in the home to grieve for their housemates who have joined the angels.

From my personal experience the best thing you can do is what you are already doing - - comforting them, spending more quailty time with them, talking to them, and sharing their grief journey with them. They, too, experience the physical symptoms of stress of grieving as evidenced in their lack of appetite, vocalizations, lack of interest in normal activities. It is okay to encourage them to eat if they show no interest and to try to engage them in some of their activities. As long as they are eating fairly regularly, drinking water normally, and being able to take care of their personal needs properly the best thing you can do is offer them loving encouragement, comfort, and patience as they adjust to the physical absence of their beloved housemates Steve and Joe.

How long does their grieving last? Like with us so it is with our companions - - their grief journey is a personal experience. My precious Noah grieved deeply for his big adopted kitty brother Eli who joined the angels in December 2006 from end stage Lymphoma. Even though my precious Noah still had his beauitful baby sister Abbygayle with him who he adored and doted on in a loving brotherly way, it took him close to 2 years to stop sleeping on the comforter that Eli had slept on during his final weeks and days, and to stop going around the house crying and looking for his beloved brother. It broke my heart to see my precious Noah grieving so deeply, so as frequently as I could each and every day I told him how much I love him and how proud of him I am for being the best little kitty brother Eli could ever have wanted.

You will want to keep your precious Vanessa and Chloe under observation to make sure their grieving is not causing them physical harm. If you suspect they are not eating properly or are losing interest in their daily routines despite your best efforts to comfort and encourage them, then you may want to take them to their veterinary care provider for a check up. As with humans, the physical effects of the stress of grief may / can require some temporary medical intervention.

I hope what I have shared with you will be of some help to you, CritzyJ. Thank you so much for sharing these wonderful pictures of your beloved Steve and Joe with Vanessa and Chloe. They are truly precious, and I know you cherish these memories with all your heart. Thank you so much for honoring us by sharing them with us.

I hope today is treating you and your precious Vanessa and Chloe kindly, and that each of you will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Steve's and Joe's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your precious companions are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you and your precious Vanessa and Chloe are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam