Goodbye To Joe And Steve Options

[CritzyJ]

I'm so glad to have found this website and the opportunity to grieve along side others. Two days ago, I said goodbye to my two cats, Steve and Joe. Steve was 15 years old and had been diagnosed with kidney failure in April. Despite all our efforts with food, medication, and sub-Q fluids, his systems continued to shut down and his health was failing. Joe was 20 years old and had been diagnosed in June with a large cancerous mass in his chest that was pushing on his trachea, making it hard for him to breathe. My husband and I decided that we didn't want to drag out their lives to the point of extreme suffering and wanted to let them go when they were still in moderate, but declining health. Even still, the decision was agonizing. I wanted them to tell me when they were ready and though their bodies were telling me, they themselves were not. They still socialized and wanted to eat, so I just wasn't sure how to make the decision. Then on Wednesday, they both told me they were ready. It was clear that the time had come, so I let them go.

I thought the letting go part was going to be the hardest, but now two days later, I realize that the real pain comes in the unfolding of memories and the absence of them which seems to scream it's presence throughout the house. My heart is absolutely broken. Yesterday I ordered some garden stones engraved with their names and four little paw print stones to put in the flower garden where they loved to sleep. When I clicked to confirm the order, it was like being punched in the chest. So final.

As I look through photo albums of the last 20 years, I find pictures of them sprinkled throughout the memories of our marriage and it occurred to me that that sprinkling was like they really were in our lives. Cats are kind of elusive and do their own thing and their presence is sprinkled throughout each day, each week, each passing year. In their older years, they were more home bodies and hung out with us and the dogs. Last night I cried so hard I could barely breathe and while I know the pain will eventually lessen, it's hard to believe it ever could. A part of me almost doesn't want it to lesson as that signifies a greater depth of letting go and I never want to let go.

So, I'm rambling and I'm going to stop now, but it feels good just to say it. Thank you for listening.

Jennifer

[moon_beam]

Hi, CritzyJ, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing, and for the wonderful pictures of your beloved Steve and Joe. What sweet kitties they are, and that they are so content is a real testimony to the loving home you gave them during their earthly journey with you. They are forever blessed to have you as their Forever Mom.

Winnie the Pooh was one of my favorites so many years ago in my much younger years, and the lessons learned from the simple wisdom expressed way back then are still valid today. Thank you so much for sharing the quote with us, CritzyJ.

It is very normal that you may sometimes hear or feel or see your beloved Steve's and Joe's Living Spirits with you, for these are ways they find to let you know they are still close to you and continuing to share your earthly journey as they always have and always will.

It really doesn't matter if our grief journey is our first experience or our thousandth - - each grief journey is uniquely painful because each relationship we have with each of our companions during their earthly journey is uniquely individual. Grieving can make us feel alone, isolated, and abandoned. Please know you are always among friends here for as long and as often as you need us, CritzyJ - - you will never have to travel your grief adjustment journey alone.

I hope today is treating you kindly, CritzyJ, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Steve's and Joe's sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam