Heart Broken And Guilt Ridden, Our baby girl Scarlett passed away... Options

[Scarlett's M...]

Our beloved Scarlett passed away this Thursday, July 11, 2013. The heartbreak is unbearable. We are grief stricken and guilt ridden. She had be dealing with recurring UTI's since the Fall - we would go to the vet - the vet prescribed antibiotics and she'd be clear of the UTI only to have another. This kept happening so we (my husband and I) brought our little Scarlett to a holistic Vet to try to get to the bottom of the UTI's once and for all. Scarlett was again put on a round of Antibotics - my husband brought her into the Vet and I told him to hold off on getting her tested - her history had always been that the test would come back clear and then she'd have another UTI a week later. Scarlett began getting lethargic. We had her on a number of Vitamin supplements and fresh dog food that she just absolutely loved. We brought her back to the vet and asked about her lethargy the vet said she may not be getting the right about of carbs. The owner of the place where we got her fresh food recommended that we add a digestive enzyme to her diet and nutritional powder. That night at her dinner I gave her both - when we went to bed she coughed like she had something stuck in her throat - I massaged her throat and my husband took her downstairs to stay with him on the couch. He said her breathing would be ok when he held her on his chest but not regular when she laid by herself. The next morning she was fine except for the fact that she stopped eating - we thought it was because she had the bad experience the night before, maybe it was the enzyme, maybe it was just an allergic reaction. We brought her back to the vet. The vet said she looked fine - and maybe the enzyme was too intense. We stopped all the supplements and just tried to get her to eat. We talked about getting her tested for the UTI (a culture) after she started to eat normally again so we could get an accurate reading. The test runs about $200 so we opted to hold off.

Scarlett started panting more and her breathing became more labored but as it did my husband and I never thought this was serious - we don't know why but we just didn't. Scarlett became more and more lethargic over the next couple days - Saturday July 6th, 2013 we took our baby to the beach - we walked around for hours - her spirits were up - and we hoped she would be hungry when we got home. We did think that possibly she had stopped eating because she was becoming picky. Me and my husband tried to get her all different kinds for foods to tempt her - to no avail - I would even try to put egg whites in her mouth, which she would look at me and then promptly she'd spit out. By monday I looked at my sweet baby and knew something was wrong - my husband came home and we decided we'd take her in to see her vet early the next morning. When we got to her vet she informed us that this was an emergency and that they were not equipped to handle it - she gave us the info for an Emergency Hospital. We rushed her over to the ER. After taking blood and an x-ray it was thought that she had pancreatitis - we took her home with an IV - the next day no change in her so we took her back and admitted her. We saw another doctor this day and she informed us that this could be serious and linked it back to her UTI's. We placed her there for 48hr care - went to visit her at night, called a couple times to check on her. The last call being on July 11th 7am. The nurse said she was waging her tail. 20mins later we got the call - her heart stopped. We ok'ed CPR but our little angel was gone. The final lab results aren't in but it's believed that she died from her chronic UTI - it was never fully cleared and we can't help feeling like its our fault, had we tested her sooner, brought her in sooner maybe she'd still be with us. We r devastated by her passing & the guilt is unbearable. I've had many deaths in my life my parents died by the time I was 5 yrs old, my grandmother who raised me when I was 18 - my husband has had family members pass away too and his childhood furry baby Brandy but Scarlett's passing is beyond bearable for either of us - my husband and I are inconsolable.

Attached image(s)

 

[moon_beam]

Hi, Scarlett's Mom, thank you so much for sharing with us how you and your husband are doing. From first hand experience I can so relate to what you share with us: "Tomorrow oh how we dread tomorrow". Indeed, during the very painful deep grief every moment of every hour of every day is a constant deep seering pain both emotionally and physically. The feeling of the ache in our hearts and body are real - - for grieving is very physically painful.

We live in a physically oriented world governed by the 5 senses of sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell. Every time our companions touch us, rub against us, lick / kiss us they are literally chemically imprinting themselves onto us so that they can identify us from the other millions of people on this planet. When they precede us to the angels, we literally experience a physical withdrawal from this chemical imprinting - - and it very physically painful.

It is vitally important that you and your husband get plenty of rest, provide your bodies proper nourishment - - as best as you possibly can - - and keep any additional stresses to a minimum as much as possible - - for grieving takes a tremendous amount of energy and stamina - - particularly during the deep grief, as your body is literally in "survival" mode.

It is also important not to look down the "tomorrow" road while you are in very deep grief - - but rather to focus on taking one day at a time - - one moment at a time. And it is also vitally important that you and your husband give yourselves the opportunities to openly grieve for your beloved Scarlett, for clinical and scientific studies prove that the tears you cry are literally healing tears - - for they literally wash the toxins out of your body that build up in the tissues from the stress of grief.

I hope today is treating you and your husband kindly, Scarlett's Mom, and that you both will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Scarlett's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and please let us know how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam

[michteach1972]

Please let me share my deepest condolences for the loss of your girl Scarlet. My Lucy hasn't passed yet, I'm spending as much time as I can with her here at home before she dies. She has late stage lymphoma and we are making her comfortable.

I am also wondering if there is something we did that caused this, but it's cancer. Cancer often sweeps our love ones away without any explanation.

I hope that you can find some kind of comfort here on the forums. I haven't been here long, but the people are wonderful. Their support has been so helpful to me.

It was helpful to me to hear that you were able to take Scarlet to do some of her favorite things before she passed. My husband and I have been able to do the same thing. We've taken her to her favorite park, had professional family pictures taken, and she is enjoy some of her favorite treats. I hug her, tell her how much she is loved, encourage her to find her comfortable spots, and just "be" with her.

As Moonbeam says, make sure you take care of yourself. You did all you could for her. I also lost a dog four years ago, and what helped me was staying in my normal routine as much as possible. I eventually learned that doing this was best for me. I also set aside a time for mourning everyday. However you mourn is deeply personal and is unique to each individual.

I know words aren't adequate, but my heart cries for your Scarlet. Please know you are my thoughts as you journey through this terribly painful time.