Help! Finding A Way To Live With Her Still Alive =( Options

[michteach1972]

I come to this site looking for help. For many years as a child I could not live with pets because of severe allergies. Due to severe sun allergies I didn't want to be touched as a child.

It is a miracle that I am able to have dogs in my home. I married a dog person and we eventually adopted a golden/lab mix. We took care of her through a house fire and were her forever owners.

When Holly, our first girl started to fail we found Lucy, our current golden retriever to help extend the life of Holly. This helped us accept the laryngeal paralysis diagnosis Holly had and we learned to love Lucy.

We've had here 4 and 1/2 years and also by a miracle been afforded 3 extra months with her as she has a diagnosis of lymphoma. We know full remission is rare in this disease, it runs in the golden breed, and can not afford chemotherapy.

I think I compartmentalized for the past month, and when we were given the final diagnosis yesterday I finally let it all sink in. I was up half the night with my Lucy "baby" Belle and I can not stop crying.

I am a teacher, have nurtured many human beings, even stayed for the event when we had to put down Holly 3 years ago. This is first time in my life that I've raised a puppy to adult hood and then been faced with cancer in a dog of my own. I already know I can't stay with her in the end.

Devastated doesn't begin to describe this, mostly because I have no biological children of my own and that we know of can not have children. She is so young. I'm so in love with her I sing her to sleep.

Can someone help me with living her while she is sick and facing death?

[Cheri]

Hi there, I guess I don't have to ask how you are doing because I truly know. I just had to make the decision to let my beloved 15 year old kitty go yesterday. I too sat with her all day and half the night, never knowing if this would get better. Looking for any sign she would improve, sometimes denying the other signs. I tried pleading with god to give me a miracle that didn't come at first ( more on this later)
I will tell you this about how you let your precious puppy go.......while you still have her, research euthanasia more. Please consider having a mobile vet come to your house. They are so compassionate and caring and patient. The procedure is very peaceful as they give your dog a sedative which has a morphine like pain killer in it. Your dog will still hear your voice and not be in any pain and will dream! My vet told me she has had dogs running while in this deep sleep or even smile as it s a euphoric feeling. You can hold Lucy or have her outside in her favorite sunny spot or even leave her on your bed, it doesn't matter. I will tell you once you are ready for the final injection (and you can take all the time you want alone with her) the dr checks her heart rate, and when you are ready, it will be a peaceful fast ending. No pain, done your way and most of all the final moments won't haunt you with what ifs. This is so tough, I know. My decision was based on my kitty in the end. She was not doing any of her normal things, she laid in one spot just getting up to use the litter box. Her prognosis was poor with little time left. I finally decided I wasn't prolonging life, I was prolonging death because I couldn't face it. Deciding if it is time is the toughest part.... I know I just did it . But this is what helped me decide As in regards to if its to soon or too late, " better to let them go a week soon, then to be a week too late" I've been on both sides of this now and I know how I regret waiting to long because I wanted more time. Deciding to let them go while they are still in very little pain is easier than watching them go down fast in extreme pain, looking at you for help:(
Now for the miracle..I knew when the last ditch effort for sandy failed and the time had come to make a decision, my prayer changed,to please help me get through this. This morning I woke up late, wondering how I even slept at all and as my mind went right to the thought of my kitty Sandy, I didn't cry. Then I remembered my prayers for the miracle. I got my miracle, god gave me the peace and the strength to carry on. And After all the pain I had felt for weeks, it is now lifted. I know this is a miracle . Please read as much on the euthanasia subject and then reassess her ups vs downs. You can do this both your and Lucy's way. My wish for you is that miracle.
Cheri