Rude Comments Are Upsetting, Have gotten a few cold comments from some Options

[eskie2002]

I lost my Samantha in May 2013. It has been a difficult struggle with her being gone. I have become upset at times and it is because of rude comments from some that do not help my grieving process or anyone's if they should receive such comments after losing a dear furry loved one. Mean comments can cause us more trauma and set backs of our grieving even more when people are cold hearted. One comment and it did not come from this website, but the comment was, "You are not the only one to lose a fur baby". I thought this rather a cold and callous statement. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. This person thinks that I should just shut off their feelings towards my Samantha and this person is the only one who should be allowed to get attention when she feels she needs it. I was not even talking about the loss of Samantha. This person read a website regarding Samantha. I did not ask for anyone's opinions. I only place memories into Samantha's diary for me to read when I felt I needed to so I can get through the day with remembering the fun things Samantha and I did together. However, some people stop in and make rude comments. It upset me so that I closed down Samantha’s web page and found a private diary online only for me to read when I wanted to be closer to Samantha. It very much upset me about this comment and comments from others. After this comment was made to me, I became angry. I am now angry all the time and I know it is part of the grieving process. I feel people have not allowed me to have my own space also, with my grieving and that does not help matters either. Sometimes I just want to be alone and I am sure some feel the same way. We just want a moment to stop, have a quiet time, and reflect on our beloved babies we lost. I just do not understand people anymore, as it seems they only think of themselves and do not think about the other’s person’s feelings. Do not think of the person who is suffering from a loss. I had a very strong love with Samantha and I know everyone here has also had a strong love for his or her beloved furry baby. I feel badly for those of us who have to endure the rude comments when we are in so much pain and struggle at times to just get through the day. We feel such emptiness. Sometimes I wish I could just turn around and see Samantha looking at me and wagging her tail. To run to her and hug and kiss her.
These rude commenter’s have lost furry one’s themselves and I would think that they would understand, but it’s the opposite. Boy, it really hurts. I just cannot turn off a switch and forget about Samantha. It is humanly impossible to turn off our feelings for something we loved so dearly. It would not be a normal human response. I am sure many have felt the same way. We just cannot turn our feelings off. I do not want to turn off my feelings as to me someone has no heart by shutting feelings out. Our babies are not just things as some seem to think. No, they are living breathing individuals that God gave to us. For us to love them and they love us. Sometimes, I think the phrase, “The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog” is a very true statement. I was a critical care nurse for many years and could never shut off my feelings for my patients. I would cry and cry and thought maybe I shouldn’t cry when some of my patients passed on and it really hit hard when I had young teenagers die such as from auto accidents. A doctor told me one time, “Sue, when a person stops crying then that is when a person stops caring” and to this day, I still believe that statement. So, when the tears need to flow I will not stop them. So in saying that I know none of us can just stop caring, crying, and feeling the love we had with our furry children. If we did not care, we would never have had them as our furry children.
Anyway, not to rattle on but, I really do hope and pray that none of you have received rude comments during your loss and if so I am so very sorry because it really does hurt. It tears at your heart. It is a constant ache. In time, the pain will pass, but for now, the road has been difficult. Please take care of yourselves and do what you feel is best for you. Your furry baby wouldn’t want it any other way.
God bless you all!

Sue

[Gretta's Mom]

Dear Eskie

Please accept my condolences on the homegoing of darling Samantha. And how unspeakably horrible for someone or ones to assault you with hateful words on a site on which you rightly expected understanding and support. These people are their own punishment. Pity them. They have never had the life-changing experience of having truly shhared the love of a special animal like your Samantha. My Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, went home more than two years ago after five wonderful years. She's the one I use as my icon here on LS. And like Love My Mickey, I still cry for her (like now). Then my Rufus, and half black lab/half Newfie was only with me for 21 months and ended up having his life cut short by spleen cancer - while I was half a continent away helping a critically ill sister. I cry so many tears at the thought that precious Rufus had to face this all alone (he was at a University Vet Hospital getting very good care, but where was his mommie?). No one to hold his giant head, no one to stroke his velvet ears, no one to tell him wht a truly GOOD dog he is, no one to reassure his heart with words of true love. Rufus, my brave boy.

Yes, Eskie, as MoonBeam says, our animals' spirits remain with us even though we can't see or hear them or pet their soft fir or look into their eyes, Rufus's eyes had the wistful look that meant he could see into eternity.

Eskie, this is the absolute best site I've ever been on on the net. People care. People understand. Only once in the two+ years I've been here I've only seen one rant - a cat person saying dog people were so arrogant. Oh well! She said that out of her deep pain and grief.

There are some truly amazing people here and I see that several of them have already written to you: MoonBeam, LoveMy Mickey and Jake's Grandpa. Isn't Love My Mickey's poem amazing? She wrote one in answer to one I had written to Gretta apologizing that I had not recognized that she was sick and that I had left her at the Unversity Hospital on her last night on earth.

These babies ARE our children. The is no divine law written on a stone tablet that says "children" has to mean "same-species." About human familes that adopt humn children, we always claim that it is love that makes a family. And we don't specify the species.

Please come here often, Eskie. We all get it. We all understand and we all care for and support each other. Welcome to our LS family - a family no one wants to join but are always happy that they did.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

[eskie2002]

The photo is of Daphne. Samantha's baby sister.

Dear Eskie

Please accept my condolences on the homegoing of darling Samantha. And how unspeakably horrible for someone or ones to assault you with hateful words on a site on which you rightly expected understanding and support. These people are their own punishment. Pity them. They have never had the life-changing experience of having truly shhared the love of a special animal like your Samantha. My Gretta, the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived, went home more than two years ago after five wonderful years. She's the one I use as my icon here on LS. And like Love My Mickey, I still cry for her (like now). Then my Rufus, and half black lab/half Newfie was only with me for 21 months and ended up having his life cut short by spleen cancer - while I was half a continent away helping a critically ill sister. I cry so many tears at the thought that precious Rufus had to face this all alone (he was at a University Vet Hospital getting very good care, but where was his mommie?). No one to hold his giant head, no one to stroke his velvet ears, no one to tell him wht a truly GOOD dog he is, no one to reassure his heart with words of true love. Rufus, my brave boy.

Yes, Eskie, as MoonBeam says, our animals' spirits remain with us even though we can't see or hear them or pet their soft fir or look into their eyes, Rufus's eyes had the wistful look that meant he could see into eternity.

Eskie, this is the absolute best site I've ever been on on the net. People care. People understand. Only once in the two+ years I've been here I've only seen one rant - a cat person saying dog people were so arrogant. Oh well! She said that out of her deep pain and grief.

There are some truly amazing people here and I see that several of them have already written to you: MoonBeam, LoveMy Mickey and Jake's Grandpa. Isn't Love My Mickey's poem amazing? She wrote one in answer to one I had written to Gretta apologizing that I had not recognized that she was sick and that I had left her at the Unversity Hospital on her last night on earth.

These babies ARE our children. The is no divine law written on a stone tablet that says "children" has to mean "same-species." About human familes that adopt humn children, we always claim that it is love that makes a family. And we don't specify the species.

Please come here often, Eskie. We all get it. We all understand and we all care for and support each other. Welcome to our LS family - a family no one wants to join but are always happy that they did.

Gretta and Rufus's mom

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