Rude Comments Are Upsetting, Have gotten a few cold comments from some Options

[eskie2002]

I lost my Samantha in May 2013. It has been a difficult struggle with her being gone. I have become upset at times and it is because of rude comments from some that do not help my grieving process or anyone's if they should receive such comments after losing a dear furry loved one. Mean comments can cause us more trauma and set backs of our grieving even more when people are cold hearted. One comment and it did not come from this website, but the comment was, "You are not the only one to lose a fur baby". I thought this rather a cold and callous statement. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. This person thinks that I should just shut off their feelings towards my Samantha and this person is the only one who should be allowed to get attention when she feels she needs it. I was not even talking about the loss of Samantha. This person read a website regarding Samantha. I did not ask for anyone's opinions. I only place memories into Samantha's diary for me to read when I felt I needed to so I can get through the day with remembering the fun things Samantha and I did together. However, some people stop in and make rude comments. It upset me so that I closed down Samantha’s web page and found a private diary online only for me to read when I wanted to be closer to Samantha. It very much upset me about this comment and comments from others. After this comment was made to me, I became angry. I am now angry all the time and I know it is part of the grieving process. I feel people have not allowed me to have my own space also, with my grieving and that does not help matters either. Sometimes I just want to be alone and I am sure some feel the same way. We just want a moment to stop, have a quiet time, and reflect on our beloved babies we lost. I just do not understand people anymore, as it seems they only think of themselves and do not think about the other’s person’s feelings. Do not think of the person who is suffering from a loss. I had a very strong love with Samantha and I know everyone here has also had a strong love for his or her beloved furry baby. I feel badly for those of us who have to endure the rude comments when we are in so much pain and struggle at times to just get through the day. We feel such emptiness. Sometimes I wish I could just turn around and see Samantha looking at me and wagging her tail. To run to her and hug and kiss her.
These rude commenter’s have lost furry one’s themselves and I would think that they would understand, but it’s the opposite. Boy, it really hurts. I just cannot turn off a switch and forget about Samantha. It is humanly impossible to turn off our feelings for something we loved so dearly. It would not be a normal human response. I am sure many have felt the same way. We just cannot turn our feelings off. I do not want to turn off my feelings as to me someone has no heart by shutting feelings out. Our babies are not just things as some seem to think. No, they are living breathing individuals that God gave to us. For us to love them and they love us. Sometimes, I think the phrase, “The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog” is a very true statement. I was a critical care nurse for many years and could never shut off my feelings for my patients. I would cry and cry and thought maybe I shouldn’t cry when some of my patients passed on and it really hit hard when I had young teenagers die such as from auto accidents. A doctor told me one time, “Sue, when a person stops crying then that is when a person stops caring” and to this day, I still believe that statement. So, when the tears need to flow I will not stop them. So in saying that I know none of us can just stop caring, crying, and feeling the love we had with our furry children. If we did not care, we would never have had them as our furry children.
Anyway, not to rattle on but, I really do hope and pray that none of you have received rude comments during your loss and if so I am so very sorry because it really does hurt. It tears at your heart. It is a constant ache. In time, the pain will pass, but for now, the road has been difficult. Please take care of yourselves and do what you feel is best for you. Your furry baby wouldn’t want it any other way.
God bless you all!

Sue

[Jake'sGrandpa]

eskie, my condolences for the loss of your dear Samantha. I agree that some people just don't get it, while others are too rude and self centered to care about anyone else's feelings. Don't let them bother you. There are plenty of folks who do understand how you are feeling and identify with your sense of loss, especially the good people here. Cherish your memories of Samantha and never believe anyone who says "It's just a dog". We know in our hearts that it isn't true.

[eskie2002]

Thank you Jakes Grandpa,

You are so right. After what you wrote made me feel a lot better. Samantha was the love of my life. I will not shut my feelings down from what other people say. They tell us,'It was only a dog', but I am sure if the shoe were on the other foot they would think differently. We miss and cry over our loss of our furry kids and it needs to be that way. I would very much like to see some who have babies and have the attitude, 'It's was only a dog' and then they lose that loved one. How would they react then? I bet they could not turn their feelings off and if they could I believe they have deeper problems than we think.
As you said, these people are selfish. I could never say the things some say to us when we lose a furry child. I would feel a great amount of shame. Losing a furry child is the same as losing a human loved one as someone mentioned to me. I agree. These little buggers are our kids, they need us and we need them. I know they were sent here for us and we for them. The one's who have the cold feelings scare me because how would they treat a pet? Would they abuse and neglect them. They just do not know the joy these furry kids bring us. To them dogs are just a throw away toy.
Again, thank you for your kindness and I will always remember what you told me.
I hope you are doing well. Please keep in touch.

Sue and Daphne

eskie, my condolences for the loss of your dear Samantha. I agree that some people just don't get it, while others are too rude and self centered to care about anyone else's feelings. Don't let them bother you. There are plenty of folks who do understand how you are feeling and identify with your sense of loss, especially the good people here. Cherish your memories of Samantha and never believe anyone who says "It's just a dog". We know in our hearts it just isn't true.