Rude Comments Are Upsetting, Have gotten a few cold comments from some Options

[eskie2002]

I lost my Samantha in May 2013. It has been a difficult struggle with her being gone. I have become upset at times and it is because of rude comments from some that do not help my grieving process or anyone's if they should receive such comments after losing a dear furry loved one. Mean comments can cause us more trauma and set backs of our grieving even more when people are cold hearted. One comment and it did not come from this website, but the comment was, "You are not the only one to lose a fur baby". I thought this rather a cold and callous statement. We all grieve in our own way in our own time. This person thinks that I should just shut off their feelings towards my Samantha and this person is the only one who should be allowed to get attention when she feels she needs it. I was not even talking about the loss of Samantha. This person read a website regarding Samantha. I did not ask for anyone's opinions. I only place memories into Samantha's diary for me to read when I felt I needed to so I can get through the day with remembering the fun things Samantha and I did together. However, some people stop in and make rude comments. It upset me so that I closed down Samantha’s web page and found a private diary online only for me to read when I wanted to be closer to Samantha. It very much upset me about this comment and comments from others. After this comment was made to me, I became angry. I am now angry all the time and I know it is part of the grieving process. I feel people have not allowed me to have my own space also, with my grieving and that does not help matters either. Sometimes I just want to be alone and I am sure some feel the same way. We just want a moment to stop, have a quiet time, and reflect on our beloved babies we lost. I just do not understand people anymore, as it seems they only think of themselves and do not think about the other’s person’s feelings. Do not think of the person who is suffering from a loss. I had a very strong love with Samantha and I know everyone here has also had a strong love for his or her beloved furry baby. I feel badly for those of us who have to endure the rude comments when we are in so much pain and struggle at times to just get through the day. We feel such emptiness. Sometimes I wish I could just turn around and see Samantha looking at me and wagging her tail. To run to her and hug and kiss her.
These rude commenter’s have lost furry one’s themselves and I would think that they would understand, but it’s the opposite. Boy, it really hurts. I just cannot turn off a switch and forget about Samantha. It is humanly impossible to turn off our feelings for something we loved so dearly. It would not be a normal human response. I am sure many have felt the same way. We just cannot turn our feelings off. I do not want to turn off my feelings as to me someone has no heart by shutting feelings out. Our babies are not just things as some seem to think. No, they are living breathing individuals that God gave to us. For us to love them and they love us. Sometimes, I think the phrase, “The more I get to know people, the more I like my dog” is a very true statement. I was a critical care nurse for many years and could never shut off my feelings for my patients. I would cry and cry and thought maybe I shouldn’t cry when some of my patients passed on and it really hit hard when I had young teenagers die such as from auto accidents. A doctor told me one time, “Sue, when a person stops crying then that is when a person stops caring” and to this day, I still believe that statement. So, when the tears need to flow I will not stop them. So in saying that I know none of us can just stop caring, crying, and feeling the love we had with our furry children. If we did not care, we would never have had them as our furry children.
Anyway, not to rattle on but, I really do hope and pray that none of you have received rude comments during your loss and if so I am so very sorry because it really does hurt. It tears at your heart. It is a constant ache. In time, the pain will pass, but for now, the road has been difficult. Please take care of yourselves and do what you feel is best for you. Your furry baby wouldn’t want it any other way.
God bless you all!

Sue

[LoveMyMickey]

Dear eskie2002,

First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Samantha. I feel like you do, I wish our babies could pop in and visit us. Wouldn't that be wonderful.....Our Mickey has been gone 2 yrs. 4 months and I still have my crying spells. He was so special.


I thought you might like this poem I found:


I Haven’t Left At All


I saw you gently weeping as you looked through photographs
You paused for just a moment at one that made you laugh.
But as you turned more pages the tears began to flow
You whispered that you missed me but I want you to know;
I softly licked those stinging tears that down your cheeks did fall
I want to help you understand I haven’t left at all.

On those days that you are overcome with sorrow, pain and grief
I rest my head upon your leg to offer some relief.
When you take our walking path I’ve seen you turn around
Because I know you surely heard my paws upon the ground.

At night while you are sleeping I snuggle at your side
You stroke my fur as you touch that place where I used to lie.
You said it’s just your heart playing tricks upon your mind
But rest assured I’m really there, my spirit’s left behind.

I know your heart is hurting; it’s like an open sore
You think my life has ended and you won’t see me anymore.
But for those of us bound tight by love, death is not the curtain call;
It’s really the eternal beginning that waits for us all
So, dear mommy and daddy, as you live your life I patiently await
For us to be together when you pass through Heaven’s gate.


May God Bless and Comfort You,

Hugs,

LoveMyMickey