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[snrein1016]

Hi All,

I don't have much to add from what has already been said. My heart is totally broken, and the pain is overwhelming. I actually can't believe how much it hurts, how much pain people can take and still survive.



Love and blessings to anyone else who is experiencing this.

Suzanne

[snrein1016]

Thanks again. Your words are very comforting.

It does feel a little better every day, and I'm starting to not expect him around every corner, which is less painful. James is a great comfort, even though he's being more needy than usual, and that's saying a lot. But when it is painful, it's so intense it's hard to express.

The anguish is easing somewhat, however, I almost think the grief is easier. With the grief it's tangible. I know that will get better. The absence and longing just feels flat and endless. I honestly can't wait for the day when I have a slight memory of him that causes no pain, like pets or people I've lost years ago.

I was able to start exercising again today -- something I enjoy and do on a regular basis. I'm going through the middle of all the pain but that doesn't make me want it to be over and soon.

Over the weekend I started to create a home video of him. Those tend to take me a while, but I think it will be a nice memorial to him when it's finished. I have some great video, which is a treasure and am so glad I took those. His personality really comes out on screen.

Again, I can't say how much your kindness means.

Suzanne