I Lost My Precious Girl Last Week Options

[j3nny]

My precious girl of 15, Kitty, left me last Wednesday. I never in my life would have beieved it would hurt so much. I feel a physical hole left in my chest and in my heart. I am greatful that in the end it was swift decline. She did not linger for weeks or months. What ever it was that was ailing her never effected her as she she was always cheerful and playful, so I knew that what ever was going on inside her poor tummy causing years of declining weightloss, it was never a quality of life issue. I never determined if it was indeed cancer beacuse we were always able to treat the symptoms till the very end, so I let her go. She wanted to go.

I believe she is with me, I know she is with me and will never leave my side. I have felt her on my lap several times, a warm tingly energy. That comforts me, but I wish I could see something more tangable, like a figure or hear a meow in the middle of the night. Has anyone else expereinced this???

My girlfriend is a reiki master and ran energy on her in her last hour of life. Kitty gave her energy back (I am thinking to imprint on her), this I truly believe. THe next day she felt Kitty's same energy and begain to chanel her and Kitty had many things to tell me. One that I did the right thing, she was ready to leave this earth. She will always be with me and that she loves me very very much. That is why I believe I feel her sitting on my lap at times. I truely know that she is with me. I just wish I could see or hear her.

I miss her so much.

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[j3nny]

Thank you moon_beam,
I find myself gathering all of her physical reminders (last blanket she slept on, stray lost hairs, collars, etc). I did remember to ask the vet to have a bit of her belly fur, it still has the gentle smell of her and i can feel and hold it. That gives me great comfort.

She was my first pet and the first to go. She is survived by two other 15 year olds and two 5 year old (who are brother and sister). Having five cats was lead to a lively household but I loved it. I find it a vast difference without her. I was really wrapped up in the care of her the past year. It was only to ensure she ate and gained weight which she aslways did but then would slip back down. I can't help but to feel guilt that if I had been more diligent that she'd still be with me or if it was just nature taking its natural course.

It is so different without her. I would have to take three trips a week for cat food for her and then spend time with her when she ate to coax her and praise her. Now I just scoop dry food in four bowls and listen to the crunch, crunch, crunch. Its sad for me.

They all must know that something is different now, their behavior changed in the past few weeks and it has now shifted again. Not to mention that Daddy has come home from Afghanistan, so having him around is a big change too. I wish that they could talk to us, tell us if they are hurt or to confirm they are happy.

Life is so up and down with the pain and joyful memories. I long for her so much. I miss her so very much. I have a lump in my throat all the time. TOmorrow is the dreaded day at 7:30 p.m. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time just to cradle her in my arms. She was my special girl.