Kika Is Sick..., and nobody can figure out what's going on Options

[Valentino my boy]

All this year my beautiful girl has been unwell, she is a 12 year old chihuahua, the most loyal companion that I ever have, my very special girl,

She has been very healthy until now, I don't remember her ever being sick at all, she does have a heart problem, but nothing strange for a chihuahua of her age. It all started the first weekend of the year, in the evening she had a seizure, almost two minutes long, and after that she was a little disoriented for a couple hour, obviously I took her to the vet the next morning, blood test were done, all normal, but on the examination the Dr. found a lump/mass in her abdomen, they took Xrays, but couldn't find it, and in the ultrasound it appeared to be one inch in diameter, a little bigger, kind of floating in her abdomen because it wasn't in the intestines or in her bladder (great news!!). He put her on medication, because it seemed she was in a little pain, while my husband and I were trying to decide if we wanted to put her under anesthesia for the biopsy (too risky because of ther heart problem) I took my girl to a friend that does Reiki and biomagnetism, she went for three sesions and she really improved in her mood after each session. On one of check ups, the mass/tumor was gone, (I'm not saying the alternative medicine is my first option for treatment but I wasn't going to leave that option out if it is to help one of my babies), the doctor was surprised and send us to another Doctor, who made a doppler ultrasound, and he couldn't find anything either. So far everything was fine, just that Kika wouldn't eat as usual.

But since last week she is getting very thin, she is not eating almost anything, the doctors repeated all the tests again, and everything looks fine, the Xrays, ultrasounds, blood works, everything!!! Her doctor really likes her, and has been consulting with other colleagues, and they haven't given us a straight reason of what is wrong with my baby, her doctor is really baffled at this situation, the onl thing wrong is that she is not eating. She is thinner everyday, I have to force feed her with a syringe everyday for the last two days, and she is sad, dont' know how to explain it, but she is not herself, she still wants to be with me all the time, loyal as always, but I "feel" her different.

I'm so afraid that she may have lost her will to live, and that I keep making her stay, but I just can't sit and watch her starve herself to death and do nothing, she has given me so much, that I will do whatever is in my hands to make her be healthy again.

I swear that if she could tell me that she doesn't want to be in this earth anymore, I'll help her, even if I feel like dying too, but since this is not possible, I will continue fighting for her, but right now it's killing me not knowing what is going on, what is that I'm fighting, and I right now I feel like my girl's life is slipping through my fingers and there is nothing for me to do.

Please say a prayer for my girl to get well, or for the doctors, so they can find what is wrong with her!!!

[Valentino my boy]

Today I received the results for the last test, it appears to be some weird, elusive liver disease, and it's evolving really fast, the only way to really confirm this is by doing a biopsy, but I won't put my girl in risk just to confirm a diagnose, if it were to help her feel better I'll do it without hesitation, but I already promise her that she will never be un pain, and a liver biopsy sounds painful, her dad and her vet agreed with me, the only one who really wants to do the biopsy is the specialist (whom I don't really like), but he only cares for the diagnosis, not my girl.

Now I know what is going on, what to expect, and that I have very little time with my girl (but I guess no time in the world will ever be enough!), that I have to spend all the time that I can with her, and show her how deeply loved she is.

And knowing this is a relief, but also a great burden, specially because a week from today I have to go on a 5 days trip, and I haven't been able to get out from it, I may have to leave her with my parents that really love her, and will really take good care of her and Kika loves them and their house, that doesn't worry me, what worries me the most is that she could take a turn for the worst any day and I won't be able to be with her.

I never expected her to live forever, but 12 years seems that like a very little time, now my only wish is that she waits for me to return, after that I may be able to take all the time she needs, to be with her very minute, to spoil her even more, to indulge her in anything she wants.

I've come to terms that she may not survive this month, and it hurts terrible, but I know she was a very happy girl, and I don't want her to suffer, I made up my mind that the moment she feels any pain, that the moment the medicines stop working, that is going to be the moment I'll say "see you later, wait for me in the in the other side when my time comes", but what if I'm not there for her?!?!? What if she has to go through that alone?!?!?!?