I Still Hurt So Much.... Options

[LillyGreyshipp]

It sounds so stupid and cleche but I have a hole in my heart.

I'll be forward with this, I have depression/anxiety issues. When things would get bad, I could look at my cat and keep living. We loved each other and I didn't trust his care to anyone else.

Now he's gone.

I got another cat from the shelter. He's not a bad cat, but we don't have a connection. He'd rather hang out in the living room then in my room with me. He wants to cuddle for five minutes a day, and that's it.

I miss my cat. And further more, I miss the bond we had.

I could be wrong, but I think it would help me a lot if I could have that bond again. But I don't know how to get it.

I need a lap cat, but I don't know how to get one. Supposing I could get one, would it help?

[Pippin's Mom Kel]

Lily, I was reading your post and I understand how you feel. My cat Pippin died a little over a year ago, and I still miss him desperately. I had a hard time connecting with a cat we adopted shortly after he died. Something that I found to help with developing our bond was spending time playing with Earl Grey (the newer kitty). I had hoped Earl would be a snuggly lap cat, but it turns out what he wanted most was someone to play with. As I realized that and stopped expecting him to be what I wanted, and as we played more, the closer we have become.

Play, even if your kitty doesn't end up being a snuggler, is an amazing way to bond - and sometimes, it was just the distraction I needed.