Another Horrible Loss Options

[mollycat]

Just a short year ago, I lost my precious Molly . Molly and I were together over 16 years. She and I were alone together for several years before my daughter was born. She would eagerly await my arrival home from work and would sit in the window and meow when she saw me coming. When there was a storm, she would hide in the pan cabinet and all I could see were her eyes gleaming. We moved several times but we always together. When my daughter was born she would crawl up in my lap when I was feeding the baby and sleep against the baby's back. At night, the baby slept in one arm and Molly slept in the other arm....it made for some tight quarters since I was sleeping in a twin bed at my parents. She always made me feel better. She would put her paws on each side of my face and lick my nose. When she was 16, she started slowing down. Then she started having trouble breathing. She couldn't even lie down she would just sit hunkered over. She got so she wasn't eating and just sat on a blanket where I placed her. She didn't even like to be held. I had decided to take her to the vet when they opened on a Monday morning. Saturday night October 29, 2011 I gently placed Molly in the garage so she could go to her bed next to the furnace. The next morning when I opened the door, she was lying next to the door. She had not even made it to her bed. It hurt so much even though I knew it was coming. We buried her under the willow tree in the backyard.

About a year before Molly passed away, I found a kitten at my work. Whenever he saw my class on the playground, he would come running. I started feeding him and then took him home with me. I named him Kyle, and he appeared to be a Russian blue. Kyle was so sweet, he loved to sleep on the footrest of the recliner between my feet. When I scooped him into my arms, he would sleepily cuddle up to me. He loved to push his hard little face against mine and rub my cheek. As a baby, he carried around a balled up glove that we called "mittey". He would climb everything, walk on the balcony railing and bring home lots of "presents" including rabbits as big as he was. He was so wonderful and was only two years old. Last Friday, I went out to the garage and he was hunkered over on a box breathing funny. I brought him in the house and laid him on a blanket. He really couldn't even meow. I had to leave for work so my mom took him to the vet. The gave him oxygen and did x-rays. While the vet was describing the options, he stopped breathing. We think he may have been hit by a car. What made it even worse was that we couldn't even bury him. We had planned to bury him next to Molly but it seems that while they were trying to put a breathing tube in him, he bit someone at the vet's. Because he was due for his shots, they took him downtown for rabies testing.

Why did I have to lose two precious babies in less than a year? My arms feel so empty. A pet doesn't care what you look like, how much money you have, or what your job is. All they want is food, shelter, and love.

[Mink&WillowsMom]

Mollycat, your losses are really resonating with me. I just lost my beautiful precious Jasper, who'd only been with me three months. We were still in that fresh, "falling in love with the new baby" stage when he was struck down by a vicious disease just a week after he was diagnosed. I'd adopted him to be a body-buddy companion for Rohan, another cat who'd lost his cuddle-buddy Willow just a few months before. Their deaths were only 7 months apart, and worse yet, this is the eighth time I've walked the path of grief in ten years. I don't believe in curses, only resilience, but good heavens, enough! So I really understand your sense of collective loss when one grief sits atop another.

As for wondering how others perceive you, one of the best quotes I heard last year was "what other people think about me is none of my business." Your own heart is the only rudder you need to listen to. My condolences over Molly and Kyle. Your description of Kyle reassures me that there are many adorable kitties out there waiting to join with us.