How Will I Cope Options

[atrix]

Hi,i dont know what to do..my beloved great dane is 12 years old.last friday, he collapsed and was not able to get up again.
we called the vet, he told us that Astrix body was giving up and that he didnt want to put him to sleep as he didnt suffer yet, he gave him 2 injections( one for his heart and one for the pain )..
Something amazing happened after that, Astrix got up and took my harm in his mouth like he always do when he wants to play, he even ate a little and drank as well..we stayed up all night, i stroked him all night, then saturday morning, he collapsed again, he managed to get up again during the evening and then went down again.
He got up again sunday morning and collapsed shortly afterward, i called the vet, he came and said that Astrix was not suffering but he never got up after that and he got so thinn,i hate seing him like that, he seems to be in a coma now but peacefull, the vet will be here in one hour to put him to sleep forever.
I am dreading it, i am so scared, i havent slept in 3 days,i havent eat either, i dont want to loose my best friend, i feel so alone,i can not cope, i want to die, nobody seem to understand, they say tht i am exagerating.what will i do without him?
I dont know wether to stay with him when they put him to sleep, even though he is in a coma, he still give me the paw and he turned his head towards me, i wont be able to cope, he means everything to me, i cant stop cring, it hurts so much.what will i do?

[moon_beam]

Hi, atrix, please permit me to offer you my sincerest sympathies in the physical loss of your beloved Astrix. Losing a companion is never easy regardless of the circumstances or how long we are blessed with the privilege of their company. Euthanasia is the last gift of love we can give to our companions at great sacrifice to ourselves so that they can be restored to their former youthfulness in the company of the angels.

Atrix, please permit me to try to offer you some comfort and reassurance that what you are feeling is very normal grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically, yes - - still very normal. From what you have shared with us it truly sounds like you are doing the very right thing in easing his transition journey to the angels. Even though he is in a coma, he could linger for several hours or days - - and this would not be what you would want for your precious Astrix.

This grief journey is one of the hardest experiences you will know on this side of eternity, atrix. It is filled with many different emotions - - it is frequently referred to as a horror roller coaster ride. During the deep grief it is very hard to cope - - to be able to do the simplest of tasks - - to be able to concentrate - - to have the will to face the minutes, days, hours that now no longer include the sweet precious physical presence of your Astrix. Nothing will be the same - - and for quite awhile your heart will feel quite empty and lifeless.

The good news in the midst of all this pain is that the love bond you and your beloved Astrix share is eternal. It is not restricted to the physical laws of time and space. Even though your beloved Astrix will no longer be with you physically, I promise you that his sweet Living Spirit is always and forever a part of your heart and your memories, and nothing in heaven or on earth can ever take him away from you. Even though he will be with the angels, I promise you that his sweet Living Spirit will continue to share your earthly journey as he always has and always will, for he is always and forever a heartbeat close to you.

Atrix, I know there are no adequate words in any language that can soothe the seering pain of sorrow that is in your heart, and will be in your heart for quite awhile. Unfortunately there is no easy way through this grief journey, and the deep sorrow that you are feeling will not go away in a minute, an hour, a day, a week, a month - - or even 6 months - - for you are now on a journey that is filled with all the "first withouts" and the "this time yesterday, last week, last month, last year" - - and it will feel like your heart breaks anew with each memory. But I promise you, atrix, it will not always be this way. One day when you least expect it you will be thinking of your beloved Astrix and you will find yourself smiling - - truly smiling - - and this is what your beloved Astrix wants for you.

But until this time comes for you, atrix, one of the many things you need to remember is that you are not alone, atrix. Unfortunately sometimes the people who are the closest to us both emotionally and physically simply do not understand the love bond that we share with our companions. I promise you, atrix, that each of us here do understand what you are going through, and we are here for you for as long and as often as you need us.

Thank you so very much for sharing your beloved Astrix with us, atrix. Perhaps sometime you will feel up to sharing a picture(s) of him with us - - but only when / if you want to. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, atrix, and please let us know how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam