My Sweet Wolfie Is Gone And I'm Devastated Options

[Kellyt]

My approx 6 yr old shepherd husky mix, Wolfie, died unexpectedly today. I took him to a state of the art 24 hr emergency vet, and despite numerous tests and ultrasounds, they missed diagnosing what wound up killing him-pancreatitis. My husband and I cannot believe that they didn't catch it sooner. There was talk of leptospirosis and liver cancer, as his enzymes were through the roof, but an ultrasound revealed gallbladder issues. Wolfie went in to surgery, and we were very cautiously optimistic, as the vet did say there could be infection complications bc he had bile in his abdomen.
Fast forward two hours, and we get a call that Wolfie took a turn for the worse and his heart stopped during surgery. We race there, in the middle of an impending hurricane, to find out he was gone. GONE. All due to a heart arrhythmia brought on by complications from pancreatitis. We were shocked and stunned. Pancreatitis was never mentioned, despite all the blood test and ultrasounds. Not once!
So now,needless to say, we are devastated. Our boy is gone. We weren't able to have children, so he's our baby. Everything I do, smell, see, and touch reminds me of him. To think of a future without him takes my breath away. I plan on going to a support group, but in the meantime, we're here, left to struggle with our shock and grief at losing the most gentle, sweet, funny, beautiful creature. We were so blessed to have him in our lives, but we feel cheated bc we didn't have more time with him, and bc he didn't have the long life he so deserved.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Kelly, thank you so much for sharing with us how you're doing. As Kel has so comfortingly shared with you, anger is one of the many emotions we can experience in this very painful grief adjustment journey. It is healthy to try to turn this anger into something positive - - such as seeking information from your regular veterinary care professional. I hope he will be able to offer you some insights that will be of comfort to you both.

Guilt / remorse are two other emotions that are so normal to experience during this grief adjustment journey, and they can be two of the hardest to reconcile. When we are in deep grief our hearts are filled with all the "what ifs" and "why didn't / did I's". These two emotions are a result of looking back and trying to reconcile all the things that didn't make sense at the time the events were happening. I, too, hope and pray that as your deep grief eases you will be able to find peace in your heart that you and your husband truly did everything that is in your power to give your beloved Wolfie a happy and healthy earthly journey. There is no doubt that you would have walked through hot roiling lava if it meant you could protect your beloved Wolfie from danger and harm and sickness. Your beloved Wolfie knows this, - - and hopefully in time your heart will be able to find peace, too.

There is noting "futile" in our grief adjustment journey, Kelly. Of course you want your beloved Wolfie back - - this is very, very normal, and my heart breaks for you as you endure through your very deep sorrow. Hopefully in time you will come to know that your beloved Wolfie continues to be with you - - just differently. His sweet Living Spirit IS forever with you - - he will never leave you.

But until you reach this time in your grief journey, please know we are here for you, with you, and beside you through every step of your grief adjustment journey. We are here to share with you whatever is in your heart and on your mind - - whatever you feel comfortable sharing with us.

I hope today is treating you kindly, Kelly, and that you will have a peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Wolfie's sweet Living Spirit to comfort you. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to sharing with you how you're doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam