My Sweet Wolfie Is Gone And I'm Devastated Options

[Kellyt]

My approx 6 yr old shepherd husky mix, Wolfie, died unexpectedly today. I took him to a state of the art 24 hr emergency vet, and despite numerous tests and ultrasounds, they missed diagnosing what wound up killing him-pancreatitis. My husband and I cannot believe that they didn't catch it sooner. There was talk of leptospirosis and liver cancer, as his enzymes were through the roof, but an ultrasound revealed gallbladder issues. Wolfie went in to surgery, and we were very cautiously optimistic, as the vet did say there could be infection complications bc he had bile in his abdomen.
Fast forward two hours, and we get a call that Wolfie took a turn for the worse and his heart stopped during surgery. We race there, in the middle of an impending hurricane, to find out he was gone. GONE. All due to a heart arrhythmia brought on by complications from pancreatitis. We were shocked and stunned. Pancreatitis was never mentioned, despite all the blood test and ultrasounds. Not once!
So now,needless to say, we are devastated. Our boy is gone. We weren't able to have children, so he's our baby. Everything I do, smell, see, and touch reminds me of him. To think of a future without him takes my breath away. I plan on going to a support group, but in the meantime, we're here, left to struggle with our shock and grief at losing the most gentle, sweet, funny, beautiful creature. We were so blessed to have him in our lives, but we feel cheated bc we didn't have more time with him, and bc he didn't have the long life he so deserved.

[Kellyt]

Missing Wolfie so badly. This is so hard. Feeling so raw, exhausted, and ready to wake up from this nightmare. Wake me up. Sorry to be dark, but this is where I am right now. I love you, Wolfie, with every fiber of my being. Please help me sweetheart.
I love you greener than the grass, bluer than the sky, brighter than a million suns. You are and always will be my sunshine. xoxoxoxoxo

[Pippin's Mom Kel]

Missing Wolfie so badly. This is so hard. Feeling so raw, exhausted, and ready to wake up from this nightmare. Wake me up. Sorry to be dark, but this is where I am right now. I love you, Wolfie, with every fiber of my being. Please help me sweetheart.
I love you greener than the grass, bluer than the sky, brighter than a million suns. You are and always will be my sunshine. xoxoxoxoxo

It's ok to be dark, Kelly. And it's ok to be raw and exhausted - of course you are. Grieving is hard work. It really is. I wish so very much that this were a nightmare from which you'd wake; it seems unfair that it's not, doesn't it?

I loved seeing the pictures of your Wolfie with the kitten - what a huge heart he must have had!

Please try to take care of yourself right now. Try to make sure you eat. Get some sleep, even if you have to take tylenol PM or something (I suggest asking a pharmacist for recommendations). Make sure you're hydrating yourself. All of these things are so hard to do in the depths of grief (and believe me, I know - I was deeply depressed after losing my father unexpectedly), but it's so important to try to do them; if your body's physical needs aren't being met, I think you'll find that your emotional and spiritual state will be so, so much worse. I wish I could make you a cup of tea and give you a nice, snuggly blanket right now!

Hang in there. It always hurts, but the grief becomes less raw. I'm off to bed, after working until 3 AM (or I'd try to find more to say), but I wanted you to know that you're not alone.

[Kellyt]

[quote name='Pippin's Mom Kel' date='Nov 2 2012, 04:59 AM' post='75039']
It's ok to be dark, Kelly. And it's ok to be raw and exhausted - of course you are. Grieving is hard work. It really is. I wish so very much that this were a nightmare from which you'd wake; it seems unfair that it's not, doesn't it?

I loved seeing the pictures of your Wolfie with the kitten - what a huge heart he must have had!

Please try to take care of yourself right now. Try to make sure you eat. Get some sleep, even if you have to take tylenol PM or something (I suggest asking a pharmacist for recommendations). Make sure you're hydrating yourself. All of these things are so hard to do in the depths of grief (and believe me, I know - I was deeply depressed after losing my father unexpectedly), but it's so important to try to do them; if your body's physical needs aren't being met, I think you'll find that your emotional and spiritual state will be so, so much worse. I wish I could make you a cup of tea and give you a nice, snuggly blanket right now!

Hang in there. It always hurts, but the grief becomes less raw. I'm off to bed, after working until 3 AM (or I'd try to find more to say), but I wanted you to know that you're not alone.


Pippin's Mom Kel,
Thank you so so much for your beautiful, kind words and advice. Reading your post was very comforting. You are so right...I need to try to take care of myself right now. I'm trying to nourish myself physically a bit more today. It definitely is hard, because it sometimes doesn't occur to me to eat, but I really like what you wrote about how it will help my emotional and spiritual state. Something I probably would have thought of during "normal" times, but so easy to overlook when grief is so acute.
Thank you most of all for the reminder that I'm not alone. I appreciate that so very much.

-Kelly