My Sweet Wolfie Is Gone And I'm Devastated Options

[Kellyt]

My approx 6 yr old shepherd husky mix, Wolfie, died unexpectedly today. I took him to a state of the art 24 hr emergency vet, and despite numerous tests and ultrasounds, they missed diagnosing what wound up killing him-pancreatitis. My husband and I cannot believe that they didn't catch it sooner. There was talk of leptospirosis and liver cancer, as his enzymes were through the roof, but an ultrasound revealed gallbladder issues. Wolfie went in to surgery, and we were very cautiously optimistic, as the vet did say there could be infection complications bc he had bile in his abdomen.
Fast forward two hours, and we get a call that Wolfie took a turn for the worse and his heart stopped during surgery. We race there, in the middle of an impending hurricane, to find out he was gone. GONE. All due to a heart arrhythmia brought on by complications from pancreatitis. We were shocked and stunned. Pancreatitis was never mentioned, despite all the blood test and ultrasounds. Not once!
So now,needless to say, we are devastated. Our boy is gone. We weren't able to have children, so he's our baby. Everything I do, smell, see, and touch reminds me of him. To think of a future without him takes my breath away. I plan on going to a support group, but in the meantime, we're here, left to struggle with our shock and grief at losing the most gentle, sweet, funny, beautiful creature. We were so blessed to have him in our lives, but we feel cheated bc we didn't have more time with him, and bc he didn't have the long life he so deserved.

[Chandanimane]

Hi Kelly,

I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. That must have been a great shock to you. Regardless of whatever warnings we're given, we still believe that everything will turn out alright. You know, I can understand what you're going through. My dog Zena just passed away on October 20th. She was diagnosed with liver cancer back in September. On her last day, her liver started to fail and she was in a lot of pain. I finally found a vet who would come out and put her down. I called at around 9pm, and he arrived about an hour later. I was a wreck at that point because in my opinion, it took too long. I couldn't bear the sight of her being in pain. Even when we were given the diagnosis of a terminal disease and I did everything I could think of to keep her comfortable during her last month, I still look back and say 'what if?'. What if I caught it sooner, or what if I made sure we had some pain medication to at least ease some of it? I have to admit, I was upset at the vet for not even mentioning pain medication. If it was a matter of her liver, what difference did it make? I called the vet first that night, at 7pm. The particular vet who was seeing Zena wasn't there, so they took down a message and told me that a vet would call me back. Any vet would have been acceptable. The vet we had been seeing didn't call me back until the following morning. I had to tell her it was too late. She sounded like she didn't know what to say because it was such a sensitive subject, and that was the end of that. I never even received a condolence letter in the mail. I am upset at them, and I will never take a pet there again. I know that no one is perfect, including us, but what I'm trying to say is, I can understand you having those thoughts about the vet and about the entire situation. Maybe one day we can completely forgive since they really did try their best at the time (although we still have the right not to do business with them again if that is what we so choose), but right now, it's all still fresh.

I know that the saying time heals all wounds sounds trite at the moment, but as time passes, it will get easier. That's not to say you won't experience bouts of grief. I started a thread on public displays of grief because a few days after Zena was put down, I almost cried in front of my co-workers unexpectedly. It just rose up out of the blue. All I can suggest is that whatever guilt you may be feeling, please try to let it go. You cared for Wolfie as if he were your own child. There is no better treatment you could have given him than that. He knows that you loved him. With every caress and kiss and hug and tender voice speaking or singing to him, he knows how much he meant to you. I'm using present tense because I don't believe that the bond ever disappears. Please don't hesitate to keep talking through this. If you have any pictures you would like to put up here, we would love to see them. And know that you are not alone in this. We all thought of our beloved pets as our babies, and we all have faced their physical loss. Please let us know how you are doing.

Hugs,

Laura