Sudden Spurts Of Grief, Dealing with grief in public Options

[Chandanimane]

Hi,

I have a question to those of you who may have gone through the same thing. I just had to euthanize Zena, my dog of 11 years, because she had liver cancer and her liver was failing. It was a very traumatic experience for me, well, for the both of us, because the vet couldn’t come out here until after a day of her being in pain. I feel guilty over that, but also relieved that she is finally free from the pain. Anyway, I’m at work as I write this. Something just happened where there was a slight misunderstanding or confusion or…I don’t know what to call it. But you know when you say something and someone just doesn’t get you? It wasn’t anything major, but it’s something that can happen from time to time between people. Suddenly an overwhelming grief overtook me because the thought entered my head that Zena never misunderstood me or didn’t accept me for who I was, and then I could barely stop myself from crying. I had to leave my desk and run to the restroom because I thought I would lose control. Has that ever happened to anyone here, where the grief will suddenly and unexpectedly rise up in the middle of the day when you were around people? What did you do about it? I know this is normal. I’m not worried that I’m peculiar over this, it just was unexpected and took me by surprise. I have to work an event late into Thursday evening, and I’m concerned that I’ll have difficulty with being around people for about 12 hours.

Hugs to all,

Laura

[Chandanimane]

Hi Inessence,

I went back and read some of the thread you started on Murphy. He was with you for a very long time. 17 years, I take it? I only had Zena for 11 years, but it seems for so, SO much longer. It's no wonder that when they depart after so many years of giving us companionship, it leaves a profound emptiness inside of us. I'm only on day 3, but for some reason, the grief is starting to hit harder. I may have been partially in shock for the past couple of days, I don't know. Even now, a part of me refuses to believe that she's gone.

The month I had between the diagnosis and her passing was a gift. For the first time since she was a little puppy, I was able to walk her because for most of her adult life, she was a strong puller and I was too small to hold onto the leash. Finally, she and I were able to go out together, at least until her lower back became too weak for her to walk. I had the time to tell her that I love her and will miss her and that she has been a great blessing to me, and that I hope that one day we'll meet again and spend eternity together. On the other hand, that month wasn't long enough. I still wasn't prepared. I realized that even if she weren't ill and lived for another two years, I wouldn't have been prepared then either. I imagine the grief will lessen as time goes on. It may take weeks, months or even years after passing anniversaries, but the love we have for them will never fade.

Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone in this. Murfy was a beautiful boy, and very lucky to have had such a caring, devoted mother.

-Laura

Laura, I still have those feelings a lot. Monday night was 10 weeks to the day that I lost my cat Murfy, and I cried myself to sleep.