Sudden Spurts Of Grief, Dealing with grief in public Options

[Chandanimane]

Hi,

I have a question to those of you who may have gone through the same thing. I just had to euthanize Zena, my dog of 11 years, because she had liver cancer and her liver was failing. It was a very traumatic experience for me, well, for the both of us, because the vet couldn’t come out here until after a day of her being in pain. I feel guilty over that, but also relieved that she is finally free from the pain. Anyway, I’m at work as I write this. Something just happened where there was a slight misunderstanding or confusion or…I don’t know what to call it. But you know when you say something and someone just doesn’t get you? It wasn’t anything major, but it’s something that can happen from time to time between people. Suddenly an overwhelming grief overtook me because the thought entered my head that Zena never misunderstood me or didn’t accept me for who I was, and then I could barely stop myself from crying. I had to leave my desk and run to the restroom because I thought I would lose control. Has that ever happened to anyone here, where the grief will suddenly and unexpectedly rise up in the middle of the day when you were around people? What did you do about it? I know this is normal. I’m not worried that I’m peculiar over this, it just was unexpected and took me by surprise. I have to work an event late into Thursday evening, and I’m concerned that I’ll have difficulty with being around people for about 12 hours.

Hugs to all,

Laura

[Chandanimane]

Hi moon-beam,

Thank you so very much for your understanding and great advice. I do like that line "I have lost a family member" for when someone who isn't aware of my situation asks. My close co-workers know who that family member is, and of course they sympathize, but breaking down in front of them is still something I would rather not do. Fortunately, I do have the restroom a few paces away from my desk.

I didn't think to include a picture of her. I already posted it in another thread, so it slipped my mind. Here she is. It was taken a month ago after we found out the diagnosis. She had already begun to lose some weight. I am keeping this picture up on my computer as a sort of memorial to her until I'm ready to put it away. Just a coping mechanism that is working out well for me at the moment.



Again, thank you for your kind words. I've mostly been doing reading on this forum, but it has been helping me out quite a lot. I appreciate the fact that this exists and that so many wonderful fellow animal lovers are here to offer friendship.

All the best,

Laura