Snugs Is Gone- And I Am Struggling To Cope, What now? Options

[Sad parent]

My darling boy is gone. His cremation was today. I decided to observe the cremation. I was nervous, but I am glad I did this. It was a last chance to touch his soft fur. I am still struggling to move on. Everything I look at reminds me of him and then I feel so sad and empty. I am crying less now than I did a week ago, which is when my boy died. I have been reaching out for support, which is not easy for me. I even attended a pet loss grief support group.
How do I ever get another cat, when I will always compare that cat to my perfect Snugs, I can't imagine how I can be a good parent to another cat. I also don't want to go though this again.
My boy Snugs was beautiful, intelligent, and had a great personality.
Since he used to sleep with me, I am still having trouble sleeping. I know I took good care of Him, but there are times when I am filled with guilt, wishing I gave him more attention. I took him to his vet for regular exams, but I didn't know how important it was to have his blood pressure checked as he grew older. His regular vet never brought it up until it was too late. With vision problems and kidney problems, he bravely continued on a couple of more years, I wish I could go back in time and check his blood pressure before he had problems.

[Sad parent]

I am so sad, missing my boy Snugs. It is still so hard to believe that he is gone . I can tear myself up thinking about things I wish I had done - more hugs, more pictures, more time with him. I was so attached to him. He helped me through some of the toughest times in my life. The pain is constant. I can sometimes distract myself and briefly get some relief.
He died Sept 21. It seems only yesterday. It is horrible to choose euthanasia. I can easily forget why I made that decision.
I have to remind myself that he was not eating and was starting to have problems walking. It feels that his decline was sudden. I think I didn't want to face what was happening. I wish this was all a nightmare and I could wake up.
I start to question what is important and what matters. There is a dark cloud over me and I don't know if it will ever move away. I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. I can't imagine how people survive this.

[gsnap75]

I am so sad, missing my boy Snugs. It is still so hard to believe that he is gone . I can tear myself up thinking about things I wish I had done - more hugs, more pictures, more time with him. I was so attached to him. He helped me through some of the toughest times in my life. The pain is constant. I can sometimes distract myself and briefly get some relief.
He died Sept 21. It seems only yesterday. It is horrible to choose euthanasia. I can easily forget why I made that decision.
I have to remind myself that he was not eating and was starting to have problems walking. It feels that his decline was sudden. I think I didn't want to face what was happening. I wish this was all a nightmare and I could wake up.
I start to question what is important and what matters. There is a dark cloud over me and I don't know if it will ever move away. I know I am not the only one who has felt this way. I can't imagine how people survive this.

Hi Sad parent,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Snugs - he was a beautiful boy. I am so in awe of the fact that you had him 24 years - that is so amazing and what a gift. I lost my beloved Oliver last December to congestive heart failure - he died in my arms on the way to emergency vet. He was only 13, and I thought for sure he would live into his 20's. He was my soul mate kitty, the love of my life - it was the most heart wrenching pain and grief and I never thought I would see the light of day again - I know exactly how you feel. The feelings you have are exactly like the ones I had - and there is no time limit on grieving - it's an individual process. And you will always miss Snugs, although the pain does become less severe over time - it does get better. And that dosen't mean you don't love him and miss him just as much as you do now - it becomes a part of who you are, and there is strength to be found in those dark moments. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will take away your pain - please know that you are not alone - I SO feel for you and completely understand. And you don't have to put a time limit on yourself or think "I should be over this by now"...there is NO time limit. And you will never get over losing Snugs - your pain will just shift in it's severity over time. But take all the time you need - from now until forever if you want.

I just joined this site because I lost another one of my kitties - Henry - on August 20th - and I mean I literally lost him - I was moving out of my apartment and he was scared and jumped out of my arms and ran - I have been desperately searching for him since and it has been beyond gut-wrenching - not knowing what has happened, if he's hurt, scared, hungry, you name it. I feel like I've abandoned him and have literally had a breakdown. So the pain is very present in my life again, although it's almost worse than when I lost Oliver because I don't have any closure. Henry was only 8, and he was so precious and sweet - it has literally almost killed me. I don't have children either and my kitties are my babies - they are my children and the fact that I cannot protect Henry and be with him - it is guilt and grief beyond meaure. I talked to an animal communicator who told me he has passed on - that he ate something toxic and it killed him - and I know it's not 100% proven, but I feel she is a valid source. I am still looking, of course, but part of me feels he is gone and knowing I might never see him again or never really know is almost more than I can bear.

Sorry to go off on my own tangent - I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain SO MUCH and you are NOT ALONE. You are so lucky that you had your precious baby for so long and were with him at the end - it doesn't lessen the pain, I know that - but what a gift. Over time you will realize that - I realized that with my precious Oliver - even though I thought I was going to die from heartbreak and never see the light of day again, I slowly realized what a gift it was that he was in my arms when he passed - as painful as it was, I know it was a gift and I have learned to be grateful that I was with him - I hear so many sad stories, and now have my own with Henry - so I hope you know that you being with Snugs to the end is a gift - it's a hard reality of life - none of us will live forever - and it's always painful to be the one who is left behind - but know you will be reunited with your baby one day. My heaven is not a heaven without my kitties - so I know we will be reunited.

And I hope you know that you made the right decision about him - he was going and knew it was his time - animals have an interesting way of letting us know that they are ready, that they are tired, etc. Your precious Snugs knew how much you loved him and knows you did the right thing for him - you freed him from his pain and failing body - his spirit and soul are always there, but you allowed him to be released from the physical pain and he's now light and alive again, in spirit - and he is with you, without a doubt. Do you talk to him? I did that with Oliver and still do, and have done it with Henry too - they are there, they hear you, and they know how much you love them and miss them.

Bless you in this trying time - I am so, so sorry for your loss, but know that there is nothing lost where there is love - you will always have your connection with him and he was SO blessed to have you as his mama - what a wonderful life you gave him. It will become more apparent to you over time - all of the good and the blessings - but for now, let your pain out, continue to reach out for support, cry as much you want (you should never keep that in) and know you are NOT alone AT ALL.

You are in my thoughts and prayers - and so is your Snug - hopefully he has met my Oliver on the other side - and they have become fast friends and are bragging to each other about how great their mamas were and are

Take care and hope to hear from you more - take your time, be gentle with yourself and share your pain - we are all here for you.

xoxo - Gsnap75

[Sad parent]

Hi Sad parent,

I am so sorry about the loss of your beloved Snugs - he was a beautiful boy. I am so in awe of the fact that you had him 24 years - that is so amazing and what a gift. I lost my beloved Oliver last December to congestive heart failure - he died in my arms on the way to emergency vet. He was only 13, and I thought for sure he would live into his 20's. He was my soul mate kitty, the love of my life - it was the most heart wrenching pain and grief and I never thought I would see the light of day again - I know exactly how you feel. The feelings you have are exactly like the ones I had - and there is no time limit on grieving - it's an individual process. And you will always miss Snugs, although the pain does become less severe over time - it does get better. And that dosen't mean you don't love him and miss him just as much as you do now - it becomes a part of who you are, and there is strength to be found in those dark moments. I know there is nothing anyone can say that will take away your pain - please know that you are not alone - I SO feel for you and completely understand. And you don't have to put a time limit on yourself or think "I should be over this by now"...there is NO time limit. And you will never get over losing Snugs - your pain will just shift in it's severity over time. But take all the time you need - from now until forever if you want.

I just joined this site because I lost another one of my kitties - Henry - on August 20th - and I mean I literally lost him - I was moving out of my apartment and he was scared and jumped out of my arms and ran - I have been desperately searching for him since and it has been beyond gut-wrenching - not knowing what has happened, if he's hurt, scared, hungry, you name it. I feel like I've abandoned him and have literally had a breakdown. So the pain is very present in my life again, although it's almost worse than when I lost Oliver because I don't have any closure. Henry was only 8, and he was so precious and sweet - it has literally almost killed me. I don't have children either and my kitties are my babies - they are my children and the fact that I cannot protect Henry and be with him - it is guilt and grief beyond meaure. I talked to an animal communicator who told me he has passed on - that he ate something toxic and it killed him - and I know it's not 100% proven, but I feel she is a valid source. I am still looking, of course, but part of me feels he is gone and knowing I might never see him again or never really know is almost more than I can bear.

Sorry to go off on my own tangent - I just wanted to let you know that I feel your pain SO MUCH and you are NOT ALONE. You are so lucky that you had your precious baby for so long and were with him at the end - it doesn't lessen the pain, I know that - but what a gift. Over time you will realize that - I realized that with my precious Oliver - even though I thought I was going to die from heartbreak and never see the light of day again, I slowly realized what a gift it was that he was in my arms when he passed - as painful as it was, I know it was a gift and I have learned to be grateful that I was with him - I hear so many sad stories, and now have my own with Henry - so I hope you know that you being with Snugs to the end is a gift - it's a hard reality of life - none of us will live forever - and it's always painful to be the one who is left behind - but know you will be reunited with your baby one day. My heaven is not a heaven without my kitties - so I know we will be reunited.

And I hope you know that you made the right decision about him - he was going and knew it was his time - animals have an interesting way of letting us know that they are ready, that they are tired, etc. Your precious Snugs knew how much you loved him and knows you did the right thing for him - you freed him from his pain and failing body - his spirit and soul are always there, but you allowed him to be released from the physical pain and he's now light and alive again, in spirit - and he is with you, without a doubt. Do you talk to him? I did that with Oliver and still do, and have done it with Henry too - they are there, they hear you, and they know how much you love them and miss them.

Bless you in this trying time - I am so, so sorry for your loss, but know that there is nothing lost where there is love - you will always have your connection with him and he was SO blessed to have you as his mama - what a wonderful life you gave him. It will become more apparent to you over time - all of the good and the blessings - but for now, let your pain out, continue to reach out for support, cry as much you want (you should never keep that in) and know you are NOT alone AT ALL.

You are in my thoughts and prayers - and so is your Snug - hopefully he has met my Oliver on the other side - and they have become fast friends and are bragging to each other about how great their mamas were and are

Take care and hope to hear from you more - take your time, be gentle with yourself and share your pain - we are all here for you.

xoxo - Gsnap75

Thank you so much for your support. I can only imagine your terrible pain at not knowing where Henry is and what happened to him. I was lucky to be able to be with Snugs at the end. I have not been able to talk to Snugs. It hurts too much. I have written about him. If does help to know I am not alone. Snugs helped me through some very difficult times in my life. It was wonderful to have him for so many years, but I also learned to count on him. I am trying to remember how I coped before he came I to my life, but that was so long ago. Nothing feels right without him.