Snugs Is Gone- And I Am Struggling To Cope, What now? Options

[Sad parent]

My darling boy is gone. His cremation was today. I decided to observe the cremation. I was nervous, but I am glad I did this. It was a last chance to touch his soft fur. I am still struggling to move on. Everything I look at reminds me of him and then I feel so sad and empty. I am crying less now than I did a week ago, which is when my boy died. I have been reaching out for support, which is not easy for me. I even attended a pet loss grief support group.
How do I ever get another cat, when I will always compare that cat to my perfect Snugs, I can't imagine how I can be a good parent to another cat. I also don't want to go though this again.
My boy Snugs was beautiful, intelligent, and had a great personality.
Since he used to sleep with me, I am still having trouble sleeping. I know I took good care of Him, but there are times when I am filled with guilt, wishing I gave him more attention. I took him to his vet for regular exams, but I didn't know how important it was to have his blood pressure checked as he grew older. His regular vet never brought it up until it was too late. With vision problems and kidney problems, he bravely continued on a couple of more years, I wish I could go back in time and check his blood pressure before he had problems.

[Lindsey]

Sad Parent,

I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I had my Penny girl put to sleep on August 30th after she had a really bad grand mal seizure. She was a senior and started having the seizures about 3 weeks prior. Due to that and other symptoms, our vet felt that she had a brain tumor. When I'm rational I know I did it because I loved her and because she was declining. She also had dementia and most of the time did not appear to know who we were, where she was etc and had started to develop horrible separation anxiety despite not even responding to her own name. I still feel guilty and have days that I feel I murdered my dog! That morning when we got to the vet I remember sobbing and asking him several times if I was doing the right thing. All he could say was "you aren't doing the wrong thing." I know in my heart if he thought he could have done more to save her, he would have done so and not euthanized her that day. Her symptoms showed up on August 5th so I understand your feeling a sudden loss. I had a healthy happy dog in July and by the end of August she was gone. She was my loyal partner for 8 years with me through college, marriage and our first baby. Some days I can't imagine facing life without her.

I'm having more "good" days than bad days now. I still miss her terribly but the soul crushing guilt has subsided somewhat. I made the best decision I could have in that moment and I know I could have never gone through with it had I not loved her enough to put my selfishness of holding on to her aside.

Tonight has been a difficult one. I woke up around 3 am last night because I thought I heard her and then laid there forever trying to remember how she felt, her smell. Things that I can remember fine in the middle of the daytime but last night the memories were failing me. I sat outside on the deck tonight sobbing because it hit me again that she isn't coming home. Some days I feel like it is a nightmare and I will wake up and she will be here, clicking toes and tail wagging.

I pray a lot and talk to her a lot. It took me awhile to realize that I felt like I needed her to forgive for me for the decision. It hit one day she had forgiven me for everything else in her life that might not have been perfect and she loved and trusted me as her leader and that I think she knew that day when she finally came out of the seizure and looked up at me that it was time for her to let go.

You are most definitely not alone. I don't know when/if the guilt ever totally goes away. At this point I don't know that mine will. But it does get easier to move forward and for me to remember more pleasant memories of her. You are in my thoughts.