In Shock And Heartbroken Options

[Aviendha131]

My heart is breaking and I can hardly breathe from shock and guilt. This morning, I found out that my beloved cat, Bear, passed away last night or early this morning at his vet's office. He has been at the vets since Thursday morning due recurring urethral blockage. The vet suspected that he may have had a bladder tumor that was causing the blocks.

I had the option of taking him home on Saturday morning knowing there was a risk of having him block again over Labor Day weekend and having to send him to the emergency vet OR leaving him at my vet's office where he would stay on IV fluids and keep his catheter in to help flush his bladder and keep him hydrated. I chose to leave him at my vets because he had already reblocked once when the catheter was removed.

I got a call from my vet this morning saying that Bear had died sometime either last night or early this morning. My vet had removed his catheter on Monday morning because he had been urinating freely over the weekend and his urine was clear. As of the last check on Monday evening, Bear was using the litter box and seemed to be doing well. They found he had passed when they came into the office this morning.

All I can think about is Bear dying alone and in pain. This condition is extremely painful, and I know the end was not pleasant for him. I am sick with the thought that he felt he had been abandoned by me, especially since I hadn't seen him since Thursday morning.

I feel so much guilt that I did not take him home. I am 100% sure he would have blocked again over the weekend. The outcome may have been the same if he had blocked while I was sleeping during the night. But, at least he would have been at home, known that he was loved and not abandoned, and we would have been able to spend some time with him.

I am feeling so, so sick with this guilt on top of the shock of losing him so suddenly. Don't know how to cope right now.

[moon_beam]

Hi, Aviendha, - - I can truly relate to how you're feeling when you share with us: "I feel like a chapter in my life has come to a close. It is hard to put into words. He was my last physical link to them since they had been together for so long. It's like I can't imagine the world without them. The sadness I feel is overwhelming." Please permit me to offer you reassurance that what you are feeling is very normal grief - - very painful both emotionally and physically - - still very normal.

It is recognized by clinical professionals that the grief of a beloved companion can be very devastating - - particularly when the companion is our last physical link between other companions or other human family members and / or friends. I know first hand how traumatic this is when my mom's feline companion Holly joined the angels in January 1997 and our beloved canine companion Samson joined the angels in March 1998. They were my last physical connection with my mom who joined the angels in September 1985 under very traumatic and tragic circumstances. I truly felt very devastated. My precious Noah now is my last physical link with 3 of my beloved companions who joined the angels within a very short period of time of each other, and because of my age and physical challenges he is my last companion I will have during the remainder of my earthly journey.

Although clinical professionals now recognize that the physical loss of a beloved companion is as painful as the physical loss of a human family member or friend, unfortunately our society in general, and sadly sometimes the people who are the closest to us, do not. This is why this wonderful forum was created to be a safe place where we can come to share what is in our hearts and on our minds with others who do understand what we are going through in our grief adjustment journey.

One of the many things you might want to consider is checking into some of the children's grief books for your daughter. Children do grieve differently from adults, and reading a book together that is written for your daughter's age may also offer you some insight as to how you can help her. There are some very good books you can review on this website and order through Amazon or other websites of your choice. It's another option you have to help you and your daughter in your grief adjustment journeys.

Aviendha, I hope today is treating you and your daughter kindly, and that you both will have a very peaceful evening blessed with your beloved Bear's and your other beloved companions' sweet Living Spirits to comfort you. Please know you and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers, and that I look forward to knowing how you both are doing.

Peace and blessings,
moon_beam