Dirty Frostbitten Stray That Turned Into A Prince Options

[sher_mark]

In the summer of 1999 I spotted a dirty, frost bitten and hungry cat by some garbage cans. I went closer to see him but he ran under a truck and looked up at me. He was wild and nobody's cat. He looked like he was barely surviving and would never make it another winter. I put out a bit of food for him and he started coming every day for a meal. At first I couldn't get close to him. I would sit at a distance as he ate and he watched me out of the corner of his eye. After about two weeks he let me get close enough to give him a rub around his ears. That was that. Rusty a long haired orange cat came inside to live 13 happy years with us (my husband Mark, my other kitty Siegel and later our son Ben). He turned out to be a prince, my prince. He was gentle and loving and was always at my side like a shadow. You'd never have guessed to see him that first day but he turned out to be a gorgeous cat with a flowing orange and white coat (he was voted Mr March in a Humane Society Calendar contest years ago). And he was so loving and gentle with a roaring purr. He'd lift up for me to pick him up and he'd put his paws around my neck and his head on my shoulder and stay like that until I let go, never him.

My love died May 26, 2012. He was with me 13 years but the vet estimated he lived outside for maybe two years so he was 15. He was struggling the last year or so and we'll never know exactly why he died (blood tests showed he had a number of things going on) but the morning of May 26 he collapsed and I knew it was time. That morning he slowly followed me everywhere. After he collapsed he howled whenever I would leave him for a few minutes. He just wanted to die with me. After he had a seizure in his arms I took him to the vet. He died looking up at me with that same wonderful gaze that I first saw when he looked up at me from under the truck 13 years before.

I miss Rusty so much. I loved him move than words can ever express and I will always love him. It has been 8 weeks of searing heartache. Yesterday I heard "still" when I was talking to someone about it and all I could think was "always". I know I will be with him again some day but the physical separation is so difficult. We were inseparable Rusty and I. I've read posts on this site since May but only felt I could post my own story today. Others around try to help but unless you've loved and lost an animal as much as I did, you don't understand. Turns out my other kitty Siegel (around the same age) is starting to have kidney issues so I watch and wait with her now too. It is all difficult but I have hope in the love eternal.

Thanks for listening and I'm grateful there is a place that I can leave some cyber evidence that Rusty, a once a dirty frostbitten stray meant something to someone, he had a family and was dearly loved in this world for the prince he was. I'll always love you Rus- always.

[DannysMom]

Sher_mark, that is such a beautiful photo of Rusty! What a sweet face! It's so nice of your son to comfort you, but I found that crying helps a lot. It helps getting out the pain, and even though afterwards we feel exhausted from crying so much we also feel like a load has come off. It might also help to write about Rusty. Amazon has a great book, "My pet remembrance journal". I've used it for both Danny and Tina. You can write in it, paste pictures and mementos in it. Rusty sounds like such a wonderful cat, and I know you regret not having done the pet therapy with him, but we do get second chances, and maybe Rusty will send someone just as sweet as himself to you.

[sher_mark]

Sher_mark, that is such a beautiful photo of Rusty! What a sweet face! It's so nice of your son to comfort you, but I found that crying helps a lot. It helps getting out the pain, and even though afterwards we feel exhausted from crying so much we also feel like a load has come off. It might also help to write about Rusty. Amazon has a great book, "My pet remembrance journal". I've used it for both Danny and Tina. You can write in it, paste pictures and mementos in it. Rusty sounds like such a wonderful cat, and I know you regret not having done the pet therapy with him, but we do get second chances, and maybe Rusty will send someone just as sweet as himself to you.

Dear Danny'sMom,
I know that exhausted feeling from crying. It really takes it out of a person doesn't it. They say grief is exhausting and it really is. I'm tired all the time. I've starting writing down memories because I'm so frightened that memories fade and I want cues to help me remember. I've been on the last part about the day Rusty died but have been on that part for some time. It is all so vivid and hard to write it down. I think I'm ready to get to it now though. If I write it down, I'm hoping I can let go of the hard memories of that day and focus more on the times when he wasn't sick. Danny and Tina must have been wonderful wonderful cats too--hard not to be wonderful and happy when loved so much and they were clearly very much loved by you.

[DannysMom]

Dear Danny'sMom,
I know that exhausted feeling from crying. It really takes it out of a person doesn't it. They say grief is exhausting and it really is. I'm tired all the time. I've starting writing down memories because I'm so frightened that memories fade and I want cues to help me remember. I've been on the last part about the day Rusty died but have been on that part for some time. It is all so vivid and hard to write it down. I think I'm ready to get to it now though. If I write it down, I'm hoping I can let go of the hard memories of that day and focus more on the times when he wasn't sick. Danny and Tina must have been wonderful wonderful cats too--hard not to be wonderful and happy when loved so much and they were clearly very much loved by you.

Dear sher_mark, oh I remember I felt the same way when trying to write about Tina and Danny. It was very hard for me to write about them, especially about the day(s) when they died. I cried so much when I wrote about their death days, but like you I wanted to write it down before it fades. I was thankful though when some of the hard memories faded and became less vivid in my mind. When Danny died it was the first time I had witnessed a companion animal's death. I didn't know that their eyes stay open, and it haunted me for weeks. I watched his lifeless body being carried out by the vet tech. She gently held him over her shoulder, and I saw his head flop to the side like a ragdoll. That hurt so much. Sher_mark, it does get easier as time goes by, it just takes a few months really to feel better.
I know that "tired all the time" feeling only too well. Grief wears us down and affects our immune system. Please make sure you get some extra rest.