It Still Hurts So Much, 15 days since my boy was taken away from me Options

[Valentino my boy]

Today is fifteen days since my little boy was taken from me, in such a stupid way.

First, I want to explain why my Valentino was so special.

Abou 3.5 years ago, my husband ran into the breeder who was complaining of a little girl that was giving her a lor of trouble, well, he just fall in love with her, a 10 months old, white with blue marking chihuahua, but the breeder didn´t want to sell her, so she offer us that we take care of her, let her have one liiter and the she would be all ours, at the moment that sounded great, she was going to be bred anyway, so we though, well better in a very loving house and just one time.
She stole our heart, but lets be honest she was a handful,and so smart it scare you, but we loved her to death, all her pregnancy was just perfect, but she was schedule for a C-Section, because she was so little and the puppies (2) were big for her, so all the test were done and she was fit for the surgery, well she died even before the surgey, later we learn that she had very mild case of hydrochephalus, there was nothing that could be done for her, she was brain dead.

We were so sad, but understand that it was no ones fault, just a bad joke form nature, the breeder was so ashamed that we have to go through this, that she give us the only puppy that survived, so we took him in as the last gift from Clementina to us, at first it was very hard, because he looke so much like his mom, but he sure help to fill in the void Clementina left in our hearts.

He was so special for us, our little Valentino (Tino we call him) there was nothing we wouldn't do for that tiny dog, so full of life, he enjoyed everything, he was our companion to almost everywhere we went, he loved to ride in the car, and the long bike rides he took with my husband, also, he wasn't like most chihuahuas, he was so friendly with people and with dogs, he loved to go to daycare, were everybody loved him.

Then about a 45 days ago, we rescue a dog that got hit by a car, he had a fracture in his hip, took care of the surgey, and we were watching him over so we can put him up for adoption, he was never to go near my dogs (we also have 2 chihuahua girls), he was terrier like, but the size of a labrador. He was always keep in a secure place, he could not open the door, to come inside the house, but 15 days ago, the guy who helped us around the house let the door open and he came in and attack my baby boy, it was only one bite in the head but that was enough for him, there was nothing that can be done for Tino, we have to put him to sleep, my husband says that Tino was gone the first minute he was bitten because he has no eye reflex, and show no response to painful stimulus, but still I have never felt so impotent, having him breathing in my arms and knowing he wasn't there anymore. Needless to said that we fire the guy immediatly and have the other dog put down, we can not live with the responsibility that he could attack another dog, and we couldn´t keep taking care of him.

The pain is still very vivid, I keep feeling the pain, physically feeling it, I really hope no one has to go through something like this ever, it really is to hard to bear, My Tino was taken away from me 19 days before his 2 year old birthday, I dread that day because on that day my Clementina pass away, but leave me my Tino, now I don't have any of those two babies, neither of them got to their 2 year old birthday. This year I had a party planned, now I only have the hole in my heart.

[Valentino my boy]

My baby boy, let me tell you something, you have a very strange sense of humor!!!!

Tomorrow will be a month since you left us, (don't you think I didn't notice the coincidence in the dates, thats how I know it is a gift from you), and still miss you so much!!!! and I know I asked you to send a baby for your Dad, but boy, you should have think a little in your mom too.... I had no expectations at who you would send, but I was hoping for an adult girl, and there, you send us a male puppy, and white ,

This morning Claudia, and old friend of your Dad, called and tell us she just heard what happen to you and that she was very sorry, and offer us a this puppy, a son of Magic, your Dad got very excited, he always liked Magic. At first I felt like I was betraying you and didn't want to hear about it, but your Dad was so thrilled, that I accept to meet the puppy, so Claudia came to the house (I think she alredy know we were going to say yes, because she got here in no time!!) and when I saw him I was so dissapointed, he is male, 2 months old and white, when I heard he was son of Magic I imagine he will be black.

When your Dad ask me to hold him, the first thing the puppy did is put his paw in my chin, like you used to do, it was so sad, and I couldn't help it, and started crying, your Dad was very dissapointed, he tought I was going to say no, but when I realize the coincidence of the date, the little gesture, and the happiness of your Dad, I just knew the puppy must have been who you choose for us.

I think I feel OK, you know no one is going to take your place, you were my first boy, and that will always be the special bond that you and I will share forever, I don't feel ready to deal with a puppy right now, my energy level hasn't been the same since you left, I guess is the sadness in my heart, but I see this new puppy as a gift from you, so I promise you that I will do my best, even when I still feel so sad, and miss holding your little body close to me, and your howling when I was in the shower, and your happines when you saw that we where going out, there are so many things that we shared....

BTW Kika and Felicia, not happy with the new member of the family, is this another way of teassing them? If it is, I'm sure you must be laughing so hard right now, and I bet Clemen must be grinning too, remember you have to be kind to the girls, no matter where you are!!!!

Love you my baby boy, and keep watching over us,