Rip E. Options

[orpheenoir]

Hi all. I'm new to this site, I prefer to remain semi-anonymous, but I may open up more in the future.

I lost my cat, E, on Monday 7/9/12. Apparently, diabetes set in and hit him very hard, and caused his already weak kidneys to fail completely. I watched him waste away without being able to help for too long. He dropped down to just barely 7lbs and had stopped eating and drinking altogether. I chose to euthanize him rather than keep him alive for more testing. I feel guilty, as if I could have found out about the diabetes sooner and saved him. E and I were together for 16 years, almost 17.
I am very unsure about where to go from here. I haven't moved anything in my house because it all hasn't set in yet. I still come home and expect to see him waiting for me. I have another cat, whom I have had for about 13 years. She keeps looking for him and I have no clue what to do. I am at a loss. I know that what I did was the humane thing to do, but I can't help but wonder if I did the wrong thing.

I'm not sure what else to post, I just needed to get this out in what seems like a safe haven. Thank you for reading.


Oh, and this is the last photo I took of him. He was in my arms, purring, before we put him to sleep for the euthanasia.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m730zu2j...vxg9o1_1280.jpg

[Gretta's Mom]

Good morning orpheenoir

My heart is with you on the passing of beautiful E the cat. And you HAVE reached the right place. This is THE best support site I have seen on the web. Everybody here knows what you're going through and even more important, feel what your feeling. Having a loved friend depart the earth is one of the worst experiences in like. The first few days and weeks are "shock-and-awe." Your heart is bleeding to death, you're tears flow unstopped, and you're walking around like an unseeing robot, cuz everything you see satbs your heart again.

OrpheeNoir, there is no timeline for grief. And there are no "shoulds'. If having E's things around in the same places they always were is a tiny comfort to your heart (or if you just plain don't have the physical or mental energy to move them), then leave them in place for as long as you want and need to. (I slept on my Gretta's big orthopedic dog bed for over a week after she went home). When we give our hearts to an special soul, we get them crushed when they go on to the perfect World before us.

You were put to the ultimate test of love and you passed with flying colors - you put E's life ahead of yours and released him from his earthly pain. In the words of my wonderful vet, "He's in a safe place now." And that's true. His loving spirit is also right there by your side, wiping your tears and telling you, Mommy, I'm OK. We're still sharing the same love we always did when my body lived on earth.

Share as much or as little as your heart tells you. we don't ask questions - we just try to care for and support our sisters and brothers in the Lightning Strike family.

Thank you for coming here and thank you even more for sharing Mr E with us.

Blessings today and every day,

Gretta's mom (she is the kindest chocolate lab who ever lived)