It Still Hurts So Much, 15 days since my boy was taken away from me Options

[Valentino my boy]

Today is fifteen days since my little boy was taken from me, in such a stupid way.

First, I want to explain why my Valentino was so special.

Abou 3.5 years ago, my husband ran into the breeder who was complaining of a little girl that was giving her a lor of trouble, well, he just fall in love with her, a 10 months old, white with blue marking chihuahua, but the breeder didn´t want to sell her, so she offer us that we take care of her, let her have one liiter and the she would be all ours, at the moment that sounded great, she was going to be bred anyway, so we though, well better in a very loving house and just one time.
She stole our heart, but lets be honest she was a handful,and so smart it scare you, but we loved her to death, all her pregnancy was just perfect, but she was schedule for a C-Section, because she was so little and the puppies (2) were big for her, so all the test were done and she was fit for the surgery, well she died even before the surgey, later we learn that she had very mild case of hydrochephalus, there was nothing that could be done for her, she was brain dead.

We were so sad, but understand that it was no ones fault, just a bad joke form nature, the breeder was so ashamed that we have to go through this, that she give us the only puppy that survived, so we took him in as the last gift from Clementina to us, at first it was very hard, because he looke so much like his mom, but he sure help to fill in the void Clementina left in our hearts.

He was so special for us, our little Valentino (Tino we call him) there was nothing we wouldn't do for that tiny dog, so full of life, he enjoyed everything, he was our companion to almost everywhere we went, he loved to ride in the car, and the long bike rides he took with my husband, also, he wasn't like most chihuahuas, he was so friendly with people and with dogs, he loved to go to daycare, were everybody loved him.

Then about a 45 days ago, we rescue a dog that got hit by a car, he had a fracture in his hip, took care of the surgey, and we were watching him over so we can put him up for adoption, he was never to go near my dogs (we also have 2 chihuahua girls), he was terrier like, but the size of a labrador. He was always keep in a secure place, he could not open the door, to come inside the house, but 15 days ago, the guy who helped us around the house let the door open and he came in and attack my baby boy, it was only one bite in the head but that was enough for him, there was nothing that can be done for Tino, we have to put him to sleep, my husband says that Tino was gone the first minute he was bitten because he has no eye reflex, and show no response to painful stimulus, but still I have never felt so impotent, having him breathing in my arms and knowing he wasn't there anymore. Needless to said that we fire the guy immediatly and have the other dog put down, we can not live with the responsibility that he could attack another dog, and we couldn´t keep taking care of him.

The pain is still very vivid, I keep feeling the pain, physically feeling it, I really hope no one has to go through something like this ever, it really is to hard to bear, My Tino was taken away from me 19 days before his 2 year old birthday, I dread that day because on that day my Clementina pass away, but leave me my Tino, now I don't have any of those two babies, neither of them got to their 2 year old birthday. This year I had a party planned, now I only have the hole in my heart.

[Valentino my boy]

Thank you so much Gretta's Mom and Moon_bean, for your kind words.

I have had several pets, that I really loved,and felt so sad when they died, but ALL of my others dogs left me when they were really old, never sick, just old age, so the way Tino left and he being so young makes it even harder to accept.

As painful as this is right now what has helped me is that my little Tino was always so happy, and that he was never sad or felt neglected, and I like to think that he knew he was deeply loved.

And instead of rembering the way he left, I try to remember him happy, and silly, and I'm just starting to feel bleessed for the time I got with him.

My husband is also toying with the idea of getting a puppy, he says that our house has so much love that it will be a waste not having another dog, I agree with him, but right now I'm not so sure if the time is right, I know he is saying that because he wants to distract me. Once of the things that is really holding me back is that right now I don't feel like adopting, not with our last experience. We would have to buy a puppy, and I have always prefered to give a chance to homeless dogs, but right now I can't do that.

As soon as I'm able to look at his pictures without crying I'd love to share them with you, and again thank you sooo much for you words, they are really helpful.