Tucker Deserves The Best In Life And In Heaven Options

[WAdoglover]

I have started writing this several times, each with a heartfelt justification of why I love Tucker. I am going to put that aside for the moment. I, like everyone else on this site, joined out of a deep love, perhaps beyond many pet owners (just the term pet owner makes me shudder as if they are just property). I feel such a lonely devestation as if no one else could possibly understand what I am going through. I know that is not the case, but few people show in public or verbalize how devastated they are over their animals.

Tucker is still with me, but on borrowed time. This borrowed time even has extended beyond what has been fair to my fur child. He is suffering from larangeal paralysis and degenerative nerve damage. Surgery is out of the question. Some days I wish that God would make the umbearable decision for me and take him to the rainbow bridge since I am having a difficult time making the right decision. Truth is, my children are in the middle of finals and my oldest who is a Junior and on the verge of a 4.0. Really??? Am I really making a decision for him to hang on so that my kid can get a 4.0? Or am I just using this as an excuse to have more time with him? Am I avoiding the issue because I do not want my children to feel the pain I am currently experiencing? I spend my days laying down with him keeping him calm. I know we cannot keep on this path, and I know Tucker deserves better.

Perhaps the real issue for some of us who experience this type of grief is the depression that goes with it. Is it really reasonable to think that I can make a decision when experiencing the depression that goes with it? I am not ashamed of the deep love I have for my dog but at the moment it feels like a curse.

[Bobbie]

Dear WA and Tucker,

Oh my, I am SO sorry to hear about tomorrow. All my thoughts and prayers will be with you and your kids. I'll let Trevor know that Tucker is coming.

One thing you might consider is asking the kids to write (on paper or the computer) a letter to Tucker. Really. Telling him how much they loved him on earth and will still love him in Heaven; what a good dog he is; the funny things they remember about him and them, etc. It can be as long or short as they want it. If Tucker is going to be buried, a copy of their letters could go with him. If cremation, then the letters can be placed by the box/urn/whatever holding the ashes. It's so hard for kids and even us grown-ups to understand just what is happening throughout this whole event. Hearing that Tucker will no longer be in pain or suffering does absolutely nothing for our own pain. But you, mom, acknowleging the kids' pain will help them a lot. And be honest with them about your pain as well.

We're only going to thing about tomorrow for now. Is Tucker going to thte vet's or will he be at home? Bring his blankets, toy, whatever makes the kids feel they are helping Tucker. You and Tucker and, hopefully your vet, already know what to do.

Oh, WA, my heart goes out to you. Please lean on me as much as you need to. Know that all you have to do for the next few days is breathe and keep track of the kids. that is all. Oh! and thinking of Tucker as he WAS, not at the end, but during the beginning and the middle. And don't forget, Tucker's Spirit will be right next to your own heart, the second he crosses over.

With love, tears and sympathy,
Bobbie