Tucker Deserves The Best In Life And In Heaven Options

[WAdoglover]

I have started writing this several times, each with a heartfelt justification of why I love Tucker. I am going to put that aside for the moment. I, like everyone else on this site, joined out of a deep love, perhaps beyond many pet owners (just the term pet owner makes me shudder as if they are just property). I feel such a lonely devestation as if no one else could possibly understand what I am going through. I know that is not the case, but few people show in public or verbalize how devastated they are over their animals.

Tucker is still with me, but on borrowed time. This borrowed time even has extended beyond what has been fair to my fur child. He is suffering from larangeal paralysis and degenerative nerve damage. Surgery is out of the question. Some days I wish that God would make the umbearable decision for me and take him to the rainbow bridge since I am having a difficult time making the right decision. Truth is, my children are in the middle of finals and my oldest who is a Junior and on the verge of a 4.0. Really??? Am I really making a decision for him to hang on so that my kid can get a 4.0? Or am I just using this as an excuse to have more time with him? Am I avoiding the issue because I do not want my children to feel the pain I am currently experiencing? I spend my days laying down with him keeping him calm. I know we cannot keep on this path, and I know Tucker deserves better.

Perhaps the real issue for some of us who experience this type of grief is the depression that goes with it. Is it really reasonable to think that I can make a decision when experiencing the depression that goes with it? I am not ashamed of the deep love I have for my dog but at the moment it feels like a curse.

[Gretta's Mom]

Hello WA doglover

The worst kind of grief is anticipatory grief. because you still have your love-bug with you physically and know these days are very short. Please do not second guess yourself. Let your doggie be your guide. If it's only a day or two before finals are over for your son, maybe you could wait, but really think twice about it if it's longer than that.

As others have said, there is ALWAYS guilt and second guess and "if only" and a million other things that will hit you all at once - when you're most vulnerable. It sure doesn't feel like you've made a loving choice while it's going on and for many weeks thereafter.

Yes, it's pretty much of a social norm not to visibly grieve over "just a pet". All of us here on Lightning Strike KNOW that that's not true. That's why we're here and sharing experience and being strengthened by our LS family.

Take all of my strength and wisdom (not so much of THAT) today and use it for yourself. Know that love never diminishes or goes away and that Tucker WILL get the best in the perfect World.

Please keep in touch.

Blessings

Gretta's mom