Tom And Me, The Beginning, The Making of a Pet Parent Options

[Tom's Dad]

Those of you that have read my early posts shortly after the passing of my Sir Thomas are aware I was, to say the least, not at my best with him toward the end. It was like that too in the beginning....

It started in the summer of 2005. A female friend I had made over the internet who lived in another city was lamenting her poor lot in life and longed to move to either Lexington or Louisville (the 2 largest in Kentucky, the latter being my home) to get a fresh start. But she lacked the resources to even begin. I decided to try to help her out and offer her a place to stay free of charge until she got on her feet. Enter Tom. He was a cat she had gotten from a friend, neighbor, or co-worker (who can keep it all straight) Seems he had wandered into her yard lost and alone. At the time, I also had a cat, Miss Kitty (a story for another time) Tom was fearful of strangers, men especially which I found out to my chagrin when I tried to pick him up and he slapped my glasses clear across the room. He would run, hide, hiss, and growl. Her solutiion? Beat him up and toss him in his carrier. For reasons I still cannot comprehend, not only did I go along with it, I even teased him a bit when in said carrier. He would hiss and growl and swat. But, one evening in his "time out" we made eye contact. He looked at me, sad and forelorn. If he could speak I would almost swear he was saying "Why are you mocking me? Can you not see that I am just so very scared?"

At that moment it's like a switch inside me was flipped. I opened the carrier door and let him free. I announced to my "house guest" this was MY apartment where I pay the bills and she is just a guest, free of charge. I went on to state that the nightly beatings and throwing into the carrier were OVER! If Tom wants to hide, then he shall be allowed to do so and come out and about in his own time and way. Each night after that I would bring treats to the edge of the chair under which he liked to hide. Each night I could get just a little closer, until eventually he was taking them right out of my hand. At that point I told him I was sorry for the poor treatment and that I knew what it was like to be mistreated due to simply being misunderstood. I made an effort to get to know him as an individual. Not just what his "owner" thought he should be. From then on, we were inseparable. On the day she came with her family to collect her things (with police escort at my insistance, also another story) he hid until they had gone.

All of my life I've had and been around cats. I was fond of every one of them. But I now know that all those years, I was a pet owner, not a pet parent. It was not until Tom came along and through our love and bond that I was transformed into a pet parent. Without his influence I would not be the pet parent I am now to Theresa and Tang.

Be well at the Bridge my friend, Sir Thomas. You made a better person of me and you are missed.....

[Tom's Dad]

Hello Again Sir Thomas

It's been just over a year and a half since you went to be with the angels. Your dad and little sis still think about you and keep you in our hearts. Thank you for being my special boy for 5 years. I'm sorry for my lapses in judgement that resulted in me not having the funds to give you the medical attention that might have extended your time here on earth Also, thank you for looking out for Tang in his time of need and sending him our way. I hope I can do better by him than I did you my special man. Be good up there and know that Theresa and me and yes, even Tang (though he only knew you in spirit) all love you and miss you.


Dad.