Please Help With This Unbearable Grief. Options

[ginosmom]

Gino was our beloved yellow lab. He loved everything - life, people, animals, food. He was happy. He was healthy. He was 9 years old.

While in Vancouver with my twelve-year-old son yesterday, Gino and my schnauzer Zeke (best buds) were in the care of my neighbor as they often are when we are out of town. We received a call when still5 hours driving time away that Gino was dead. The neighbor left for the store for 20 minutes and returned home to find Gino had suffocated inside a bag of cat food he'd gotten into. THere was no reviving him.

As we drove frantically home, I was hysterical and not believing what was said. I sent many people, including our vet, up to the house. All confirmed....Gino was gone.

Gino was my best friend. He has been by my side through the darkest times of my life. My divorce. So many things. He and my son grew up together from puppyhood and toddlerhood. He was full of life. He had two cruciate ligament replacement surgeries over the last 2 years, upwards of $10,000, to repair his blown-out knee joints. After each surgery, he was happy. He was like a new dog each time. He never complained about wearing a cone on his head or taking his medicine or limping. He was always just happy.

I had taken him to the dog park every day last week. He ran in the field and swam in the creek and rolled on his back in the grass. I promised to take him to the beach lots this summer, as I've been so busy with my work. THese are all now things we'll never get to do.

I don't understand.

I read through these grief pages and feel compassion for everyone who lost a pet, but what I read is of old pets and sick pets. Not my Gino. He was not old. He was not sick. He had so much life left to live. Why did this happen? WHy did I go away? Why did I leave him?

I DIDN"T EVEN GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. I didn't tell him I loved him. But I did. Oh how I did.

He was my friend. He kept me safe on the 12 acres of property I live on by myself. My other dog is still with me but nothing is the same. It will never be the same. Can anyone help?

Everyone says they can't imagine what I feel. That isn't helping. I need to hear that others have experienced this grief, this TRAGIC grief, this accident, and that life somehow moved them forward. I can't imagine.

Today we went to the vet's office where his body had been taken. I wasn't going to see him but I had to, to say goodbye. He had been wrapped in plastic and put in the freezer, covered in a blanket. I lay beside the mound of beloved dog that was no longer.......just the body, but the body of the dog I loved with all my heart. THe dog I could've been better to, could've done more for, could've appreciated more. I took for granted he'd always be here. I lay beside him and wept and said goodbye and said thank you. The body smelled badly. I wish I hadn't seen that or smelled that. That isn't my Gino.

Please help me and my son, anyone. Not by saying I have a right to feel sad or that you can't imagine my pain....but something, anytthing that will help. Thank you.

[Nan.D]

Gino was our beloved yellow lab. He loved everything - life, people, animals, food. He was happy. He was healthy. He was 9 years old.

While in Vancouver with my twelve-year-old son yesterday, Gino and my schnauzer Zeke (best buds) were in the care of my neighbor as they often are when we are out of town. We received a call when still5 hours driving time away that Gino was dead. The neighbor left for the store for 20 minutes and returned home to find Gino had suffocated inside a bag of cat food he'd gotten into. THere was no reviving him.

As we drove frantically home, I was hysterical and not believing what was said. I sent many people, including our vet, up to the house. All confirmed....Gino was gone.

Gino was my best friend. He has been by my side through the darkest times of my life. My divorce. So many things. He and my son grew up together from puppyhood and toddlerhood. He was full of life. He had two cruciate ligament replacement surgeries over the last 2 years, upwards of $10,000, to repair his blown-out knee joints. After each surgery, he was happy. He was like a new dog each time. He never complained about wearing a cone on his head or taking his medicine or limping. He was always just happy.

I had taken him to the dog park every day last week. He ran in the field and swam in the creek and rolled on his back in the grass. I promised to take him to the beach lots this summer, as I've been so busy with my work. THese are all now things we'll never get to do.

I don't understand.

I read through these grief pages and feel compassion for everyone who lost a pet, but what I read is of old pets and sick pets. Not my Gino. He was not old. He was not sick. He had so much life left to live. Why did this happen? WHy did I go away? Why did I leave him?

I DIDN"T EVEN GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO HIM. I didn't tell him I loved him. But I did. Oh how I did.

He was my friend. He kept me safe on the 12 acres of property I live on by myself. My other dog is still with me but nothing is the same. It will never be the same. Can anyone help?

Everyone says they can't imagine what I feel. That isn't helping. I need to hear that others have experienced this grief, this TRAGIC grief, this accident, and that life somehow moved them forward. I can't imagine.

Today we went to the vet's office where his body had been taken. I wasn't going to see him but I had to, to say goodbye. He had been wrapped in plastic and put in the freezer, covered in a blanket. I lay beside the mound of beloved dog that was no longer.......just the body, but the body of the dog I loved with all my heart. THe dog I could've been better to, could've done more for, could've appreciated more. I took for granted he'd always be here. I lay beside him and wept and said goodbye and said thank you. The body smelled badly. I wish I hadn't seen that or smelled that. That isn't my Gino.

Please help me and my son, anyone. Not by saying I have a right to feel sad or that you can't imagine my pain....but something, anytthing that will help. Thank you.

Dear Gino's Mom,

First, let me offer my deepest sympathy to you and your son. I am so sorry you lost your baby that way, and believe me, I do understand. I lost my 4 year old tuxedo cat Bootsie on Saturday, because of a cruel and heartless person who swerved to hit him while he was a few feet in the road in front of my house. My daughter ran out when she saw the black cat and when she realized it was Bootsie, it was horrible. His neck had been broken. I carried him into the front yard and just held onto him telling him I loved him. As many of my babies that I've lost, this was by far the most traumatic. I don't know about you, but I feel sad, and guilty, and so furious because of the cruelty of a person who has no compassion for animals. I can imagine your pain. The only thing I can say is if you need to vent, I'm here. I just keep asking myself why this happened. Gino was obviously your dearest friend and animals know when they are loved that much. Gino knew just like Bootsie did. One of my friends emailed me this morning and said when you get to the point where the pain isn't so unbearable it starts to get better. I had lost my Australian Cattledog Ginger not quite two months ago, but we were expecting it. She was old and had suffered a stroke last October. She hung on as long as she could. I was really starting to come to grips with losing her when we lost Bootsie on Saturday. the pain is going to be unbearable for a long time, but I know it will get a little easier with time. It always does. I'm sure Gino knew how much you loved and appreciated him. You and your son are in my prayers.

Blessings,

Nan